


A Liar's Birthright

by FanfictionWarrior



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Basically a merge of Azure Moon and Verdant Wind, Denial of Feelings, Era Appropriate Violence, F/M, Reader has a Crest, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Spoilers, Spoilers for Azure Moon, Spoilers for Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Spoilers for Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Spoilers for Verdant Wind, but nobody knows it, soulmate angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27042394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanfictionWarrior/pseuds/FanfictionWarrior
Summary: In the year 1160, the King and Queen of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus have their first child, the crown princess. Hours after her birth, she is stolen away in the night, after days of fruitless searching, Lambert announces that the child was too weak and the healers were unable to save her.Two months later, Lord Arundel discovers an abandoned baby girl and takes her in as his ward, raising her as his own.In 1180 she arrives at the officer's academy with a soulmark she intends to keep secret, and a Crest that her adoptive father hoped she would never find out about. When her Crest is revealed and everything comes crashing down around her, the Alliance's new heir Claude steps up to help, all the while hiding one very crucial bit of information from her: He knows who her soulmate is.He has to tell her sooner or later, but how can he tell her the truth when it could very well be the thing that pushes her away for good?
Relationships: Claude von Riegan/Reader
Comments: 39
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

You had never really been one for gossip.

Sure, you were accustomed to listening to it, to feigning interest in it just to please all the deathly boring court ladies you were forced to spend time with on a daily basis.

But you had never put much stock in it, not until you could find something to prove it, or even a part of it, to be true. Besides, you had far more important things to worry about than which nobleman or noblewoman was seeing someone other than their partner. Or who supposedly had whose name as their soulmark.

What did any of that matter to you, anyway?

Idle gossip didn’t win wars or really help anyone. It merely passed the time, made conversations interesting for people with nothing better to do than talk.

But sometimes it gave insights into the people around you, and in a new location gossip is often the best foundation for a firm understanding of your surroundings. And the people inhabiting it.

Which was why you were leafing through a book you weren’t really reading as a couple of students chatted nearby. You recognised Dorothea from the operas you had been to recently with your adoptive father, but the pink-haired girl next to you, Hilda, was only vaguely familiar. Apparently she was from the Alliance, and from what she’d said while speaking with your classmate, you guessed that she was close to the Almyran border, probably Goneril territory.

Almyra…

You unconsciously raised a hand to your collarbone, where your soulmark was hiding underneath the collar of your jacket. Khalid… You’d done your research, reading dusty tomes that were older than the Emperor himself. From what you’d gathered, it was an Almyran name. It had to be.

You forced your hand back to your book, trying to focus on the task in front of you. Now was no time to get distracted by wondering how you were going to meet an Almyran at any point in your life.

Besides, you didn’t really believe in soulmates.

The very idea of someone out there being just for you… Well, it was ridiculous.

And even if you did find this Khalid, were you supposed to just accept that you were meant to spend the rest of your life with him, just like that? It was ridiculous, to say the least, and you weren’t about to let it control your life.

“Still, to have all three future leaders of the countries of Fodlan as this year’s class leaders…” Dorothea mused, reminding you that you needed to turn a page to keep up your charade. “Well, it will certainly be an interesting year. Didn’t House Riegan’s current heir just… Appear out of nowhere?”

“Yeah,” Hilda said, leaning on the back of your chair with one hand. “Claude just… Appeared out of nowhere a year ago. Said he was the son of Duke Riegan’s daughter, the one who disappeared like twenty years ago, and had the Crest to prove it.”

“Duke Riegan’s daughter just disappeared?” Dorothea asked.

“Yup,” Hilda replied. “They say she fell in love with a man her father didn’t approve of, so they eloped.”

Interesting.

What sort of man would Duke Riegan not approve of, you wondered.

“What’s he like?”

“Who, Claude?” Hilda’s weight lifted off the back of your chair. “He’s a little strange, but he’s alright. He’s unbearably charming, asks _a lot_ of questions.”

“Hmm,” Dorothea hummed as you shifted slightly in your chair to get a more comfortable position. “I wonder if he has a soulmark.”

“Beats me, he loves learning stuff about other people but never really talks about himself,” Hilda sighed, pausing for a moment before she continued. “If I’m not mistaken, that’s him over there now, come on, I’ll introduce you.”

“(y/n)?” Dorothea asked, drawing your attention away from your book. “Are you coming?”

“Thank you, but please, go on ahead without me,” You replied, the faintest grin crossing your features. “I get the feeling that if Claude is half as curious as Hilda says he is, he’ll doubtless introduce himself to me.”

“Making him come to you,” The singer mused, a knowing smile on her face. “My, that’s a dangerous game you’re thinking of playing.”

“Please,” You scoffed, turning another page in your book. “It’s hardly a game, let alone a dangerous one. I’m not the most interesting Empire noble here, he’ll quickly get bored of trying to find secrets that aren’t there.”

The girls exchanged a look, obviously unconvinced that you thought you weren’t as interesting as anyone else here. They knew who you were, had known from the moment you introduced yourself.

Yes, you weren’t one for gossip, but you were certainly the topic of it. And had been for a few years now.

Lord Arundels’ ward, or daughter if you asked the right person. Crestless, your hand in marriage promised to the future prime minister from a young age.

Until one day you broke off the marriage.

No warning, no explanation. Lord Arundel had, of course, been furious when he broke the news, but that didn’t stop him from declaring you as his heir not one year later.

That was when the rumours started again. Some people speculated that he had planned for this all along, that he’d only pretended to be angry at the time because he was too embarrassed to admit that he’d changed his mind. Others thought you were manipulating him, that there was some dark magic at play.

Some even suggested that you had a soulmark, but that had been quickly dismissed. After all, how could you possibly have hidden such a thing for so long?

And all through every bit of speculation and gossip, you remained impassive and quiet as ever.

Eventually the girls left you to your reading, something you were silently grateful for. You and Ferdinand had not spoken outside of pleasantries at various events since you had broken off the marriage, and he had arrived not too long ago.

A long-awaited conversation was looming over the both of you, and you didn't quite feel like having it in front of all the others enrolled in the academy. You planned on properly telling him why you’d called the marriage off, but the only way you could truly do that was if you could speak to him alone.

And you sincerely doubted that was going to happen any time soon.

***

Hubert was not happy about the disappearance of all three house leaders after the training exercise had gone wrong.

Of course, both of you had known the exercise was going to go wrong, Edelgard had planned for this to happen from the very moment she’d been enrolled into the academy. Kill the other house leaders and destabilise both countries in one go, ensuring that neither the Alliance nor the Kingdom would be in the best condition to fight back.

But the problem was this:

Neither house leader was confirmed dead, and Edelgard was missing alongside them.

So you and Hubert were left to wait. Well, you were waiting, Hubert was _hovering_. He had been ever since your group had returned, dusty and battered but otherwise unharmed, from a training exercise that had ended with the academy down three house leaders and one cowardly teacher.

The church was scrambling to find a new teacher, someone who was qualified and well respected so that the nobles who had sent their children here for the year would be pleased. Your bets were on Jeritza, which was probably ideal for Edelgard’s plan, but less ideal for any student with a more delicate constitution that had the misfortune of being placed into his class.

You’d long since grown tired of Hubert’s constant hovering and muttering, and found yourself in the training area. It was by no means quiet here, but it afforded you a rare moment to think, and to observe what was going on around you.

You watched carefully, keeping one eye on the sparring match a couple of the Faerghus students were having and another on the strange movements of the various knights around the academy. Most had been sent out to find and hopefully recover the missing students, but the few who had been left behind…

Well, they were acting odd.

A training sword clattered to the ground next to you, sending a spray of dust up to cover your boots and forcing you out of your thoughts. You looked first at it, then up at whoever had thrown it.

The Fraldarius boy. Felix, wasn’t it?

He was looming over you, his arms crossed and a scowl plastered across his face. You raised an eyebrow, waiting for the inevitable question. The rumours surrounding him were hard to miss. Bad-tempered, always looking for a fight…

Perhaps a few minutes of solitude were too much to ask for in a place like this.

“Quit staring,” He muttered, jerking his head in the direction of the sword. “Spar with me, we’ll see what you can do.”

You cast a disdainful glance at the sword, but picked it up and stood, carefully brushing down your skirt with your free hand.

“I hope you don’t intend for me to use this,” You sighed, looking carefully around the area for a few moments before turning to a redhead standing near the wall of training lances. “Would you mind getting me one of those lances?”

“Sure,” He replied, grabbing a lance and bringing it straight to you. “And may I just say, you look lovely today.”

Right, the Gautier heir.

Well, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to get into his good books… Not that it would be hard for you to do that, Hubert on the other hand… Even putting him in a skirt wouldn’t do any good.

“Thank you,” You replied, smiling sweetly as you brushed your fingers against the redhead’s before turning back to the blue-haired boy who had challenged you. “I hope you don’t mind the challenge, I learnt some swordplay growing up but I’ve always favoured the lance.”

“As long as you actually make it a challenge.” Felix grumbled, taking a few steps back and raising his sword.

“I intend to.” You replied, stepping into the arena and holding up your lance.

There was one thing about the Fraldarius heir that you learnt almost immediately upon the start of the match.

He was fast. And strong. And really, really determined to win.

It was all you could do to block his attacks, keeping your balance as stable as possible as you waited for some sort of opening. Any opening would do.

But one never really came, or if it did, it was the kind that you couldn’t take advantage of with the lance in your hands. Whoever said lances had an advantage over swords clearly had never met one Felix Fraldarius.

But then you noticed the slightest increase in the power he was putting behind his blows. _He was getting frustrated_.

You blocked an overhead swipe, holding your ground despite his superior strength.

"Stop defending and fight me already!" Felix snarled, shoving you backwards.

"Why?" You asked, smiling slightly as you regained your balance.

As soon as you were ready, he pressed the assault again.

Thwack!

Thwack!

Thwack!

This time you had the advantage, and you easily blocked his swipe to the left with a smirk.

"You said you wanted a _challenge_ ," You cooed, shoving him backwards and twirling your lance before planting it into the sand below. "So here's your challenge: break my guard."

Sylvain gave a low whistle, apparently impressed by your words, and nudged a blonde girl standing next to him.

Felix scowled, rushing forward and putting all the more energy into his assault. Each impact jarred your arms, but you had listened carefully in your lessons and knew exactly how to move in situations like these. All you had to do was wait for him to tire himself out.

And then you could strike.

But that moment never happened, because as you blocked and dodged a figure came to stand at the entrance of the training area, watching from the shadows.

Felix's first blow hit your arm with a sharp, stinging crack as you glanced in the direction of the new member of your audience. You yelped, quickly bringing your lance up to block the next strike, which would have easily knocked you down if you’d been just a few seconds slower.

You decided to ignore them for a while, until they stepped out of the shadows and crossed the area behind you, prompting Sylvain to say the very words that would see you beaten.

"Your highness!" The redhead called, nearly making you block at an awkward angle. "You're back! Glad to see you're alive!"

Dimitri was back? And alive?

That meant two things: first, Edelgard's plan had most definitely failed.

It also meant that she was also-

Pain shot up your leg, then quick as lightning you felt it in one arm and then finally in your stomach, knocking the wind out of you. You gasped for air, falling rather gracelessly onto the ground with a dull thud.

"Ouch…" You muttered, dropping your training lance to the ground. "Nice job."

"You got distracted," Felix snapped, not bothering to offer you a hand and help you up. "Next time you should keep your focus where it belongs."

"Come now Felix, if this had been under any other circumstances I'm sure she would not have allowed Sylvain to distract her," Dimitri said, stepping in front of you and offering his hand. "I hope he didn't hurt you."

"Just my pride," You sighed, taking the prince's hand and letting him pull you to your feet. "Thank you."

"I don't believe we've met, are you perhaps from the Golden Deer or the Black Eagles?" He asked, releasing your hand as soon as you were on your feet.

"Black Eagles." You confirmed, nodding once as you spoke.

"Black Eagles?" Sylvain asked, stepping into view with a look of surprise on his face. "What are you doing in here, then? Aren't all the Black Eagles listening to Hanneman talk about Crests right now?"

"That's tomorrow," You said, frowning slightly. "And I wasn't planning on attending anyway. Seeing as I have no Crest, I find the topic completely uninteresting."

"Well in that case, I hope you will consider joining us here for more sparring tomorrow…" Dimitri paused, frowning for a moment. "It seems I neglected to ask for your name, and I didn't introduce myself either."

"You didn't need to introduce yourself, your highness," You replied, shaking your head. "My father insisted upon my knowing about the future heads of noble houses in the Alliance and the Kingdom. I should have introduced myself earlier."

"Your father really made you learn all that?" Sylvain asked, earning a sharp elbow from the blonde girl next to him.

Count Galatea's daughter, Ingrid. She had to be, to be a good enough friend of Sylvain to do that.

"My father made me learn it too, as did yours," She huffed. "Sorry about him, he has a very laid back approach to studying. I'm sure with a little help he'll be able to recall those lessons, and I'm afraid I'll need some help connecting the names to faces."

"Allow me to be the first, then," You smiled, giving a quick curtsey as you introduced yourself. "I am (y/n) von Arundel."

Dimitri and Ingrid exchanged a look at the very sound of your name, apparently having heard about you even in the Kingdom. Sylvain seemed to be blissfully unaware of your reputation, or was at the very least pretending to be.

Hubert's appearance at the entrance of the grounds saved you from answering any of their questions, he had apparently been sent to find you, and from the look on his face you doubted that he was willing to wait for much longer.

"(y/n)." He called, making the trio in front of you turn to look at him.

"I had better return to my class," You said, nodding respectfully at them before you excused yourself. "Thank you for the spar, Felix."

Felix didn't reply, merely shot you a scathing glare.

You chose to believe it was because he hadn’t expected you to know his name already.

***

Claude was, for once, not really sure what to think.

All his life he'd had a name written over his upper arm, but it had always felt surreal. The very idea that he would be predestined to meet someone with that very name and then have them be his perfect match was ridiculous. And besides, the name hadn't been Almyran.

Perhaps it was that very reason that had planted the idea in his head that he should come to Fodlan. Just so he could prove to the universe that there was no way he would find the person he would spend the rest of life with. And yet, he had met a girl with the very name on his arm just a couple days ago.

(y/n)...

If she was his soulmate, an idea he was not yet sold on, he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that made her his supposed perfect match. She was pretty, he couldn’t lie about that, but why her?

From what he could gather, she was an enigma, keeping any and all information about herself close. All anyone really knew for sure about her was that she was adopted and raised by Lord Arundel, and that a few years ago she had broken off the arrangement for her to marry the Empire’s future prime minister.

(y/n) reminded Claude of himself in a way, except where he was charming and mysterious, she was blunt and a little unfriendly. She chose her words carefully, each smile and frown calculated and delivered at exactly the right moment to drive her point home.

She was, like Claude, someone who had been taught to trust no one. But unlike him, she didn't care if people knew it.

She was a mystery, and Claude really hated not knowing things. If she really was anything like him, her secrets would be buried so deep that she wasn't about to unknowingly reveal much of anything, which meant that he was going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.

But how to get close to someone who barely speaks to anyone…

His thoughts were interrupted when he bumped into someone, and quick as lightning, Claude grabbed their arms and kept them steady.

"Sorry about that-" He looked up, ready to use one of his dazzling smiles that absolved him of all wrongdoing, and his brain stopped.

"No, it's my fault," (y/n), the very object of Claude's thoughts, muttered. "I wasn't looking where I was going, you have my apologies."

She tugged herself free from his grasp as she spoke, already striding away from him in the direction of wherever it was she wanted to go.

"Uh, wait-" Claude said, following after her until she turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes?" She asked, stopping in her tracks as she studied him.

Well, he definitely had her attention now. Only problem was that, for once, he had no idea what to say next.

"You broke my bow." He said finally, feeling incredibly dumb the moment the words left his mouth.

"You shot an arrow at me," (y/n) replied, tilting her head ever so slightly. “I hope you don’t expect me to apologise for fighting back during a mock battle that we were on opposite sides of.”

Well, she had certainly fought back, that much was true. He thought he’d taken on an easy target, the girl with a lance in her hands who hadn’t done much of anything in terms of fighting. And yeah, she’d broken his bow for it with a surprisingly powerful blast of ice magic that even Claude had never seen coming. After that they’d gone toe-to-toe, axe against lance, and she’d been really, really good.

He’d quite stupidly decided that introductions were in order, after all, he could hardly keep on fighting when he was dying to know the name of someone so skilled in the art of deception. She’d made herself look weak to draw him, or anyone else on a rival team, in and then lashed out with power that would have tripped most people up.

But not him. No, Claude had just about beaten (y/n) when she finally told him her name, and it had cost him the fight. He’d just… He’d been so surprised to hear that name said. He’d never really heard it said outside of his own thoughts before, and it had thrown him off his game enough that she’d easily tripped him and forced him to yield.

"No, no," Claude said, somehow managing a carefree grin. "I just wanted to say that the blast of ice magic was really impressive. You study that at the school of sorcery in Fhirdiad?"

(y/n) smiled momentarily at his compliment, only to revert back to a neutral expression at the mention of Fhirdiad.

"No," she replied matter-of-factly. "I had private tutors. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with Lady Edelgard."

She curtseyed quickly as she excused herself, then turned on one heel and continued on her way.

Claude frowned thoughtfully, wondering why Lord Arundel wouldn't send his clearly talented daughter to study at the most prestigious school of magic in Fodlan. Even Lorenz had gone there…

The only way to find out would be to ask directly, but she'd never tell him unless-

Unless, perhaps, she considered him a friend…

But then the question was: How on earth was he going to break through that icy exterior and get to the person within?


	2. Chapter 2

Ferdinand von Aegir was an easy man to read.

And right now, it was quite clear to just about anyone that he was incredibly upset with you.

It was strange to think that he would still be giving you the cold shoulder after two and a half years. Surely he was over the whole breaking off the marriage thing?

But he still provided only the most basic niceties that his noble training required of him, and it made teamwork difficult. Byleth had picked up on this almost immediately, when Ferdinand had downright refused to spar with you during the class's training session just two weeks before your first mission.

And she had cornered you only an hour later, forcing you to explain what you had done to make the normally kind nobleman so prickly. Of course, that entire incident had resulted in the two of you being forced to do group work in the stables in an attempt to make you patch things up.

So far, that group work had passed the time with stony silence.

And it sucked, because for once in your life, you were at a loss for words. You'd truly hurt him when you broke off the marriage, so how could you even begin to explain? To apologise?

All for being too afraid to admit that you had a soulmark. That destiny had other plans for you.

Well, at first it hadn't been fear, it had been anger. You were mad at the universe for trying to decide a big part of your life for you, and you decided that if you married Ferdinand then you wouldn't need to find your soulmate.

And then you started to hear stories about how people would feel drawn to their soulmates. How they couldn't help but gravitate towards them, even if they were in love with someone else. Trying to fight the soulmark always ended in heartbreak. Always.

That was when you'd become afraid. It took you half a year to bring up the courage to break it off, because both options sucked but one was, at the very least, a kinder one.

It should have been an easy choice: break off the arranged marriage before it could come to fruition and maybe salvage your friendship or lie to Ferdinand for Goddess knows how many years before you inevitably met your soulmate and broke both of your hearts. So why did it hurt so much?

You'd planned to explain everything to your former fiancé, but he never agreed to meet in private after the news broke, only ever spoke to you in public, surrounded by people you didn't trust. And now here you were, finally alone with him, but unable to open your mouth and say what you needed to say.

Besides, with the possibility of anyone walking in at any given moment, were the two of you really alone anyway?

"So how are your parents?" A quiet voice asked.

It took you a moment to realise that it was yours. You'd finally spoken, finally broken the tension.

Ferdinand looked up, an eyebrow raised at your sudden question.

"Fine," He finally replied, turning his attention back to the task at hand. "And your father? Is he well?"

"I… Don't know," You admitted, earning another glance from the nobleman. "He spends a lot of time away from home these days."

"Surely he writes." The redhead scoffed.

"Not to me." You shrugged one shoulder despite knowing that Ferdinand wouldn't see it. 

"But you are his heir, are you not?"

You knew that he was angrier about the principle of nobles keeping in touch with their heirs than he was about your situation, but it still felt nice to have him on your side for once.

"Lord Arundel feels that he need not keep in touch with me," You said, earning a deep frown from Ferdinand. "I am an adult after all, and he expects me to carry out my responsibilities as his heir without needing to ask for assistance."

"I see…" The noble said, clearly unimpressed with your sudden switch from concerned daughter to closed-off noblewoman.

And just like that, the conversation ended, leaving only a tense, almost awkward, silence in its place.

This time it had definitely been your fault. It fell flat because you closed off, like you always did when someone got a little too close to your personal life.

But Ferdinand had been one of your closest friends…

Surely you could tell _him_ about everything.

About how your father had changed, and your life had changed and you… Had changed.

He always used to have sound advice, or even just something to say that would help you forget about your troubles, even if it was just for a little while. But first you clearly had to explain why you’d done what you did.

So, you tried again.

***

Claude could hear some sort of argument going on nearby.

He’d gone on a walk to clear his head after a particularly nasty conversation with Lorenz, but had paused near the stables at the sound of voices. At this point, the future leader of the Alliance had a choice to make: Did he interrupt the argument, walk past and leave it be, or eavesdrop and satisfy his curiosity?

The last choice was what he went with, after all, his curiosity generally won out in these sorts of situations. It was a nasty habit, one that he would absolutely fix.

One day.

“...explain!” Finished a feminine voice, one that belonged to someone who was clearly upset but was trying to keep their voice down.

Claude stopped in his tracks, deciding that this was close enough.

He only wanted to hear the conversation after all, not join it.

“Then explain,” Came a more familiar voice. Ferdinand’s? “I am most eager to hear the reasoning behind your breaking off our marriage so suddenly. Particularly after all these years of silence.”

Ah, if _that_ voice was Ferdinand’s (which Claude was pretty sure it was), then that meant he must be talking to (y/n). Funny how she always seemed to turn up wherever Claude went.

Was it fate, or coincidence? Or perhaps, more realistically, was the Monastery really just that small?

“Not here,” Probably-(y/n) sighed. “I was hoping to speak to you privately, and anyone could walk by and overhear our conversation here.”

Probably-Ferdinand huffed. “Your incessant need for privacy as a member of the Empire’s court is incredibly foolish.”

“And your inability to think of other people’s feelings when your pride has been wounded is childish and narcissistic!” The feminine voice snapped, making even Claude wince. Yep, that was definitely (y/n). “Even if there hadn’t been other factors at play, I would never have married you because you _only think of yourself_!”

There wasn’t a response, and Claude shoved his hands into his pockets, rounding the corner just in time for Ferdinand to turn on one heel and storm away. It was almost funny, even in the heat of an argument that guy could keep his temper in check so very well.

“Ferdinand-” (y/n) cut herself off, reaching feebly for the noble before her hand dropped back to her side.

Her shoulders slumped and her hands curled into fists.

“You OK?” Claude asked, making the girl jump.

She raised her head, arm hastily reaching and wiping across her face before she turned to face him, eyes just a little red and still shining with unshed tears. “Yes, I’m fine.”

He decided not to say anything.

This was the least put-together he’d ever seen her. And he had to admit that when she wasn’t walking around with that grim look on her face and every aspect of her appearance being clean and perfect… She was kind of pretty. If he wanted to read into it further, he’d say that she seemed like a completely different person.

Or even just an actual person.

“I hate to be the one to state the obvious,” He started, making her grimace. “But isn’t Ferdinand von Stick Up His Ass supposed to be helping you out?”

The relief on her face was painfully obvious, no matter how hard she was clearly trying to hide it, and Claude suddenly felt very glad he’d gone for the ‘I just arrived and found you standing aimlessly in the stable area’ approach.

“He…” She paused, shoulders slumping for a second time. “We had a fight.”

He blinked, surprised at the explanation. He thought for sure that (y/n) would have come up with some excuse and shooed him away. Maybe she knew full well that he knew she had been crying, and had decided that the damage had already been done.

Alright then, it was time he got this over with.

Maybe if he stuck around, he’d be able to glean some more information about this girl and finally satisfy his curiosity.

“How long until Teach comes to check up on you?” Claude asked, shedding his jacket and dropping it onto the nearby wall.

“Excuse me?” She asked, frowning as she watched him cross the yard and pause in the stable doors.

“If you try to do this all on your own you’ll be here until it’s too dark to see your hand in front of your face,” He replied, waving his hand airily as he picked up the rake Ferdinand had left behind. “At least if I help out we’ll be done before dinner. Don’t worry about it.”

“But…” She took a hesitant step forward, her usual composure all but gone as she tried to process what was going on. “Don’t you have other things to do?”

This was where things would get tricky. If he was right, this girl was used to putting on a strong face for everyone around her, used to managing everything on her own. He got the feeling that she felt that she had to do everything right, leaving no room for error. (y/n) would not accept his pity.

So he had to make this offer of kindness with a clear ulterior motive. Make her feel like she was doing _him_ a favour, not the other way around.

“Only thing I have to do right now is avoid Lorenz,” Claude replied with a playful grin. “That guy sure can talk when he sets his mind to it. He’s on the warpath and I’d rather stay as far away from that as possible.”

She studied him for a long moment, her mind clearly working at the problem and trying to figure out just how sincere he was being. Finally she nodded, clearly satisfied that he wasn’t _pitying_ her.

“Thank you.” She said softly, offering the tiniest smile before she picked up the rake she’d dropped however long ago and set to work.

Claude knew he was going to have his work cut out for him.

***

Edelgard was not someone who smiled very often.

But that was where your similarities ended. Because when she did smile, it was genuine. She truly felt that happiness or that pride or that amusement.

You smiled when you needed to. When the conversation demanded that you do so.

You smiled to get what you wanted, to make people trust you. It was simply one of the many tools in your repertoire, something that had served you and Edelgard well.

So why had you smiled at Claude the other day? Because he’d been _nice_?

And why were you obsessing over that moment? That one lapse of control that had caused you to forget where you were. What you were meant to be doing. Who you were meant to _be_.

“Your silence is not very promising, (y/n).” Hubert’s quiet remark cut into your thoughts.

You blinked looking up at him with a pointed glare.

After a few moments you schooled your expression and turned your gaze to the future emperor, who was looking at you expectantly.

Right, they wanted to hear if you had found anything out yet.

“He’s clever,” You began, sitting up straight and letting your hands rest in your lap. “We may need to be more careful from here on out, because he’s also incredibly observant and has a habit of showing up where you least expect, or want, him to be.”

Edelgard nodded, motioning for you to continue.

“Is that all you have?” Hubert said before you could say anything further. “Did your father perhaps waste his time and money training you for this over the past six years?”

“Did yours perhaps forget to teach you basic manners?” You shot back, the glare quickly returning. “Claude spends an awful lot of time in the library, mostly researching Fodlan and its history.”

“That’s not unusual,” Edelgard mused, waving her hand dismissively. “Care to explain why you find it so interesting?”

“This isn’t just simple curiosity. He’s searching for something, I’m sure of it,” You said, leaning back in your chair. “And the way he talks about some common aspects of life here… It’s almost as if the day he appeared in his grandfather’s court was the first day he’d ever stepped foot on Fodlan soil.”

“Where could he be from, then?” The future emperor asked, suddenly very interested in what you had to say.

“Not Sreng or Duscur, and based on his reaction to Petra, definitely not Brigid either,” You paused, frowning thoughtfully for a moment. “I’d say Dagda or Almyra. He’s mentioned his parents making him promise not to tell anyone where they are, which implies that his father is from a country we’ve recently fought. It would explain why his mother ran away without a word.”

“Is there any way you can prove it?” Hubert asked, for once not questioning you and your information. “Should he prove too much of a nuisance, that proof could show up in the hands of a certain noble who wants to dethrone him.”

Lorenz. He’d been incredibly vocal about how Claude was a liar, a fraud. Not truly the heir of House Riegan. And if you needed to… Well, he would certainly be a useful tool in removing the curious boy once and for all.

Anyone not on the board was of no consequence to Edelgard’s plans, after all.

“I’ll see what I can do,” You stood, bowing to the future emperor as you spoke. “Though I doubt he is the kind of person to just leave evidence like that lying around. If all else fails, I can at least plant the idea into Lorenz’s head, I’m sure he will cause enough of a ruckus that Claude will be sufficiently distracted.”

“Good,” Edelgard nodded, effectively dismissing you. “And (y/n)?”

You turned back, tilting your head with a curious look on your face.

“My uncle asked how you were faring in his last letter to me,” She said, subtly studying you for any sort of reaction. Testing you. “Is there anything you wish for him to know?”

“No,” You kept your voice even, trying your hardest not to show any emotion at the mention of your adoptive father. “I have nothing to say to him, all is well.”

It was a lie, and you knew it. Edelgard certainly knew it as well.

Well, it was half a lie. Everything _was_ fine, but you had a good deal to say to Lord Arundel.

This was, however, how things had to be. And how things _had been_ for a long time. Because the once-pious man who deeply valued his family was gone, had changed overnight and become something entirely different.

He’d gone from your father to the man who trained you to be something more than simply a noblewoman ready to marry off to whoever was suitable. You hadn’t called him ‘father’ outside of your own mind for almost six years now. Even inside your mind now, calling him ‘father’ was a rare occurrence.

Because he was Edelgard’s uncle first, and your father last.

He was a good deal of things first, but he was _always_ your father last.

In fact, Lord Arundel had seemed to have forgotten all the years he’d spent raising you. To him, you weren’t even his daughter; just a tool for Edelgard to use to advance her plans. The two of you weren’t friends, and to say you even _liked_ Hubert was a bit of a stretch.

But you were both good actors, and you didn’t have to like the future emperor to believe in what she wanted to do. She was right that the church was controlling Fodlan, using Crests to keep its stranglehold on the entire continent.

And she was right that they needed to be destroyed, even if it took destroying the Kingdom and Alliance as well. This was the only way.

So you pretended to be her friend, pretended that everything was fine at home, that your father cared about you more than just as a tool to further his own ambitions.

Lord Arundel _was_ still your father though, even if he hadn’t been acting like it recently, and you knew that once your job was done he would be proud of you. That he’d call you his daughter again, with that warm smile on his face that he usually reserved only for you.

He was your father, and you knew that he cared deeply about you.

But just once, you wished so very badly that he would show it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huzzah, I finished the next chapter!
> 
> A bit of a shorter chapter this time, but I've had a crazy few weeks. Essentially I: grew a year older, buckled down on a big group project for uni, finished Xenoblade Chronicles, and started playing Genshin Impact, thus losing all sense of time for about a week and a half.
> 
> Anywho, I have a much clearer plan of what direction I want this to head in and hopefully I'll get the next chapter out in a more timely manner. TY for reading, I appreciate you all!


	3. Chapter 3

Nobody saw the fog coming.

It came out of nowhere, descending on your class and the knights escorting you so quickly that no one really had time to react. Eventually, torches were lit by those members of the group carrying one, and you created a small fireball in your hand, letting the glow guide you safely to where your professor and Catherine were standing.

“It’s magical,” You said as soon as you arrived, making the pair stop their quiet conversation to look at you. “My guess is that we’re surrounded. We’ll have to fight our way through, find whoever is casting this spell and take them out.”

“Damn,” Catherine muttered, staring out into the gloom for a few long moments before turning back to you. “Can you sense where the caster is?”

“You don’t know much about magic, do you?” You asked, unable to stop the exasperated question.

“(y/n).” Byleth warned, making you sigh.

“Sorry,” You muttered, turning your gaze to the ground as you composed yourself, then looking back up with a renewed determination. “I know a spell that might work, but with this much fog I’d need to get really close.”

An arrow shot through the fog, narrowly missing the lance on your back.

“We’ll have to split up,” Byleth said, looking between the two of you thoughtfully before continuing. “(y/n), stay with Catherine, find that mage. The rest of us will make some noise and distract them, hopefully they won’t notice what you two are doing until it’s too late.”

“Right.” You nodded, gesturing for the knight to lead the way.

Whoever had shot that arrow took another shot almost as soon as the pair of you had properly separated from the group, and you threw the fireball in your hand into the fog, temporarily creating a small clearing.

You swore under your breath at the sight of what looked to be a normal villager, shakily holding his bow as he realised that he’d lost the element of surprise. Catherine stepped forward but you raised an arm, instead creating several sharp chunks of ice around you, then launching them right at the man.

He closed his eyes, waiting for an end that wouldn’t come.

“Next time,” You called as he opened his eyes only to find himself pinned to the tree by the ice. “I won’t miss.”

Soon after, the fog closed into the gap, leaving you and Catherine once more isolated in hostile territory. You created another small fireball, giving both of you a bit more reaction time should someone come too close.

“You’re pretty good at magic,” The knight commented, carefully leading the way through the fog as you began drawing symbols in the air with your free hand. “Considering…”

“Considering what?” You asked, visualising the spell in your mind as your hand slowly traced each shape.

The symbols began to glow an icy blue as the spell took shape, and Catherine glanced back only once to see what the new light source was before she turned her attention back to where she was going.

“Your Crest,” She said softly, pausing for a moment as she waited for some sort of direction. “Normally people who have it are terrible at magic, but you seem to be a prodigy.”

“I don’t have a Crest.” You said, closing your eyes as the blue glow moved up your arm, a gentle warmth washing over you but ultimately not doing anything else.

They weren’t nearby then.

How far had you walked? Where were your classmates?

And how much farther would you have to go before you found the source of this suffocating fog? Or alternatively, your own demise?

Catherine frowned, looking so incredibly confused for a woman who had never properly met you until today. For a woman who had never seen you make use of a Crest, let alone heard people talking about it. So why was she so sure that you had one?

“You sure?” She asked finally, making you feel just as confused as she looked. “You don’t have to lie to me, you know. I know how hard it can-”

“I’m not lying!” You snapped, pausing to take a deep breath as you felt your control over the spell slip away from you.

The fireball flickered, becoming smaller and smaller until you calmed yourself and you were able to get a grip over the spells. While both were relatively simple, the very act of keeping them up in a stressful environment such as this one was already taking its toll. By your best guess, it wouldn’t be long until you would have to choose one or the other.

“Why would I lie about not having a Crest?” You asked, pretending that the beads of sweat on your forehead weren’t there. “Why would Lord Arundel lie about it?”

“Lord Arundel?” Catherine echoed, staring at you for a long moment before she shook her head, a breathless laugh escaping her lips. “Sorry, I must have confused you with someone else. I thought you were from the Kingdom.”

The two of you continued on in silence, only pausing when the knight wanted to check if you had felt anything. The sound of your classmates fighting faded in and out, and you were sure that you must have been walking around in circles for such a thing to be happening.

But there was no other way to proceed. It was this, or your entire class blindly stumbling through the fog, only to get picked off one by one. This was _some_ cleanup mission.

Finally you paused, lightly touching Catherine’s arm and putting a finger to your lips as a signal for her to be silent. You waited a moment, straining to feel that blip once more until finally you felt it again, coming from your left.

A tiny surge in magic that was just barely touching the bounds of your spell. You extinguished the flames, jerking your head in the direction you’d felt it and silently leading the way. After another minute of walking, you spotted a shadowy figure in the fog, and drew your lance.

The magic surrounding you thrummed to life now, practically reaching out for whoever it was that was standing over there. They were the spellcaster, and they had their back to you.

You snuck up behind them, careful not to step on any twigs or kick any stones as you made your way towards them. Catherine looked on from a short distance away, looking incredibly impressed with your skills, and you almost smirked at the idea that she thought _this_ was impressive.

This was just walking. Paying close attention to surroundings and moving at such a pace that any sound you made blended in with what was going on around you. _This_ was not impressive. Not compared to your other skills.

You swung, the wooden handle of your lance making a loud crack as it collided with the mage’s head. They went down, hitting the ground in a tangle of robes, and the fog lifted almost as quickly as it had fallen.

Catherine’s sword glowed, becoming a beacon for your classmates, who were surprisingly a lot closer than you could have imagined, and soon other figures began to become visible. An imposing figure sat upon a horse, turned to face your ragtag group along with the rest of their allies.

Finally the fog lifted enough, and you saw Lord Lonato himself, sneering at the group from the church with the utmost contempt. Even from the distance you were at, you could see the moment his face contorted with rage at the very sight of Catherine.

Just what had she done to enrage him so?

The pair approached each other at an agonisingly slow pace, each of them sizing the other up as they waited to get close enough to really fight. But whatever passed between them quickly became second to something far more important.

Because the mage at your feet apparently hadn’t been unconscious, but dazed.

And they’d just grabbed hold of your leg.

***

You’d just finished buttoning up your shirt when two soft knocks sounded at the door to your room.

“It’s open.” You called, frowning at your reflection in the mirror.

You’d ended up in a fight for your life from the very moment you’d gone tumbling to the floor in that forest, and the big purple bruise on your cheek was testament to that. Really, your survival had entirely come down to the fact that you’d had some training (minimal and not terribly extensive) in close combat.

That, and the dagger you’d almost forgotten to attach to your belt that morning.

Killing militia had left a bad taste in your mouth, and though you’d avoided it wherever possible… Well, sometimes it was just inevitable.

“Ouch,” A familiar but unexpected voice said, making your frown deepen. “That looks like it hurt.”

“It looks worse than it is,” You replied, momentarily turning your head to look at Claude, who was leaning in the doorway with crossed arms and a concerned half-smile. “It probably won’t last very long.”

“I dunno,” Claude tilted his head slightly, squinting at you. “It looks pretty… Purple.”

“What can I do for you, Claude?” You sighed, putting one hand on your hip.

“Straight to the point, I like it,” He stepped into the room, leaving the door open in case anyone walked past and assumed the worst. Or perhaps he’d just forgotten, it was hard to tell with him. “I heard your class had some trouble with that assignment of yours, and I heard _you_ got to be in centre stage. Care to share the juicy details?”

“People died out there,” You said, crossing your arms as you frowned at the boy standing in front of you. “Not soldiers, not even mercenaries. _Militia_. Ordinary people. It wasn’t juicy or… Heroic. It was cold, unforgiving warfare, survival of the fittest at its very worst.”

“Ah, right,” Claude raised a hand behind his head, an embarrassed smile forming on his face. “Sorry, I should have phrased that a bit differently.”

“Mm.” You hummed in agreement, leaning down momentarily to swipe your uniform jacket from where it had been neatly laid out on your bed.

“I’ve been hearing a lot of different things about what happened out there, and I figured you could give me a straight answer,” He stepped back, motioning for you to exit first. “If you can find it in your heart to forgive me for my callousness earlier, that is.”

You raised an eyebrow, stepping past him and out into the morning air as you thought it over. Telling Claude about the mission, and how it had gone wrong, was hardly going to be harmful. And it could open a window of opportunity for you to learn more about him, or at the very least, to observe him and his facial expressions. To learn how he operated.

Anything you could get to gain the upper hand.

But before you could agree to tell him as you walked to class, you spotted Dimitri down in the courtyard, and you remembered what Catherine had said to you that day. She’d seemed pretty sure that you had a Crest, as if she knew just by looking at you. But that was impossible, you were most certainly born without one, and besides, how could you possibly have gone this long without knowing you had one?

The new professor’s mysterious crest, and her not knowing about it until recently, was just a coincidence. A once in a lifetime thing.

But still, it wouldn’t hurt to ask the prince of Faerghus a couple of questions.

To put your mind at ease.

“Come find me at lunch today,” You said finally, earning a quizzical look from the future Grand Duke. “And I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

“I was hoping you could tell me on the way to class.”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve heard most of it already.”

“And I have to ask Dimitri something, so if you’ll excuse me.”

You took the steps two at a time, leaving Claude behind as you strode across the yard to where the prince was saying farewell to a student from his class. You cleared your throat as the student walked away, making Dimitri turn to you with a curious frown.

His eyes darted to the location of the bruise on your cheek, but he chose not to say anything. Perhaps his royal education had given him a bit better manners that whatever education Claude had received.

“(y/n),” The prince began, a smile lighting up his features. “Can I help you with something?”

“I just had a question about Crests common to Faerghus,” You said, falling into step with him as he began leading the way to the classrooms. Thankfully in the opposite direction that Claude was going in, he didn’t need to hear this. “As you know, I find the topic incredibly boring, but Catherine said something to me that’s piqued my interest a bit.”

“I’m not sure how much help I can be,” Dimitri mused, clasping his hands behind his back as the two of you walked. “I’m sure that professor Hanneman, or even Linhardt, would be able to answer your questions in greater detail.”

“The detail is the problem, I’m afraid,” You sighed, taking the opportunity to put one arm into the sleeve of your long-forgotten jacket. “I’m not quite curious enough to risk an inescapable lecture.”

“Yes, I suppose they do tend to talk for quite a while, don’t they?” He laughed softly, looking up at the sky before turning his gaze ahead of him once more. “Very well, ask away.”

“Are there any Crests that tend to hinder magical abilities?” You asked, earning a frown from Dimitri. “That are common in Faerghus, specifically.”

“The only one that comes to mind is mine,” The prince said after a few long moments of silence. “The Crest of Blaiddyd. It grants the bearer with incredible strength, but I believe it can also hinder their ability to use magic efficiently. That’s not to say that they’re _incapable_ of magic but… Well, it is certainly difficult for us. May I ask why you’re interested?”

The Crest of Blaiddyd. It was all but exclusive to Dimitri’s family line.

Which meant that you _couldn’t_ have a Crest. Because he was an only child, everyone knew that.

So had Catherine _really_ mistaken you for someone from the Blue Lions? And why the Blue Lions specifically?

“Something Catherine said to me about Crests during the mission a few days ago. She seemed to think I had one, and that it should be hindering my ability to use magic effectively,” You explained, deciding that there was no point hiding it. “But after I told her that I don’t have one, she said that she must have confused me with another girl from the Blue Lions. It’s been bothering me for a few days, but now I’m not entirely sure why.”

“Well, when we first met, Catherine thought I was a girl,” Dimitri chuckled, making you blink in surprise. “Though I confess that at the time, my hair was a bit longer.”

“Hm, well, that’s certainly surprising,” You forced an amused smile onto your face and smothered the doubts in your mind. “Thank you for your assistance, Dimitri. I think you’re right though, I’ll risk a chat with Linhardt just to make doubly sure that we’ve covered everything.”

“It was my pleasure, (y/n).” The prince said, parting ways with you when you rounded the corner and found yourself in front of the classrooms moments later.

You pursed your lips, taking a moment to consider what you’d been told. Catherine had been wrong about you, and you knew it from the very moment she’d said anything about your having a Crest…

So why did it feel so wrong to dismiss her words?

***

You paused at the doors of the kitchen, wondering if you’d managed to imagine the sound in your fatigued state or if it had actually happened.

A second crash, followed by a splash of water and a muttered curse, was the answer to your question, and you walked further in, finding Claude of all people attempting to wash some dishes.

Well, you _thought_ he was washing dishes.

From the looks of it, he was fumbling them.

“Are you trying to wash the dishes, or force the monastery to buy more?” You asked, smiling with amusement as the house leader turned to you with a sheepish grin.

“I was trying to wash them,” He explained with a shrug. “I’m not good at it though, they keep slipping out of my hands…”

You nodded your agreement, watching water drip from his hands onto the floor for a long moment before you pulled your jacket off and left it on a nearby chair.

“Scooch over.” You commanded, rolling up your sleeves as you approached the sink.

“You’re going to help me with this?” Claude asked, narrowing his eyes skeptically at you.

“If I don’t we’ll be eating straight from the pots and pans tomorrow,” You said, nudging him to the side with your shoulder. “Now scooch.”

“I’m perfectly capable-”

“You’re not.”

“Seriously, why are you helping me with this?

You paused, leaning one elbow on the sink as you turned to look at the brunet. You raised an eyebrow, as if to say _’do you want my help or not?’_ and he quickly raised his hands in surrender.

It wasn’t entirely because you were worried about whether or not the monastery would have any plates or bowls left by the time he was done with this chore. No, that wasn’t something you were really all that concerned with.

What you _were_ concerned with was how elusive he had been recently. After you’d told him what happened during your class’ mission the month before, he’d just stopped talking to you. Which was weird. Sure, you exchanged pleasantries whenever you’d bumped into each other during the week, and you’d seen him chatting to other people around the monastery.

You didn’t think he was avoiding you, but you also weren’t sure why he’d suddenly become so distant. He hadn’t been watching you, of that much you were sure, but he also hadn’t been doing whatever it was he did to get on your nerves.

And it certainly didn’t help you complete the task Edelgard had set for you.

This was as good an opportunity as any to try and find out more about him, but if he kept pressing you’d simply tell him that you were doing this to pay him back for when he’d helped you in the stables.

“Wasn’t someone supposed to be helping you with the dishes today?” You asked, stifling a yawn as your slew of late nights finally caught up to you.

“Hilda.” Claude replied.

“Ah.”

As uncharacteristic as it was for him to say only a one-word sentence, you knew very well what Hilda was like. Passing her chores off to others while feigning injury after injury…

There was definitely some potential there, she was a strong fighter when she wanted to be, and even seemed to be doing very well in her classes. You almost wondered what it was that could be holding her back.

The two of you worked in silence for a while, the only sound between you being the slosh of water and the gentle clinks made when Claude put a freshly dried dish onto the stack. Every time you handed him anything you made sure to hold onto it until he had a firm grasp, and even then you watched him carefully through your peripheral vision, hoping that you wouldn’t have to drop everything to save another free-falling plate.

Which was exactly how you noticed him watching you. Or rather, _studying_ you.

He kept his head facing right in front of him, but his eyes were trained on your arms and your hands. It didn’t take long to figure out what he was looking for, and it took even less time to decide that maybe he’d been eavesdropping on your argument with Ferdinand in the stables.

At least enough to overhear your comment about ‘other factors’.

“If you’re looking for a soulmark,” You started, making his eyes dart up to your face. “You won’t find one.”

“What makes you think I was looking for one?” He actually turned to look at you this time, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Please,” You scoffed, looking up as you handed him another plate. “You were hardly being subtle.”

“Can you really blame me for being curious?” Claude said after a few moments of tense silence, both of you hanging onto the dish and just looking at each other. “You turned down the future prime minister of all people, and you still get suitors even after that. Yet still, you turn them down, or worse, ignore them.”

You let go, sure that he wasn’t about to go dropping anything else just yet, and smiled sweetly.

“Alright, you have a point,” You relented, turning back to your work. “But if I catch you looking for something that isn’t there again I’m leaving you to do the rest of this alone.”

His only response was an assenting hum, and the room plunged into silence again. You worked like that for a while, enjoying the companionable silence before Catherine's words to you the week before came back to the forefront of your mind. You told yourself it was nothing, that the professor was a fluke and that you needn't worry about it all.

And yet…

"Claude," You started, earning a cursory glance from the boy next to you. "May I ask you a question?"

"What kind of question?" Came the response, accompanied only by another clink.

"It's about your Crest."

"My Crest?"

"I know it's a personal topic for many people, so I understand if-"

"Ask away."

You blinked, trying to figure out what his angle could be. He never answered questions about himself, so what had changed? Why was he letting you ask a question like this now?

"When did you find out about your Crest?" You asked quietly, hoping that maybe he wouldn't hear you and you could back out.

"What's brought this on?" Claude laughed softly, pausing his work so he could turn to look at you. "I thought you said Crests were an uninteresting topic."

"I was just thinking…" You trailed off, turning to look at the brunet momentarily before dropping your gaze back to the task at hand. "Nevermind, it was a silly thought, and an even sillier question. I shouldn't have asked."

There was no response this time, just Claude staring at you curiously for five agonisingly slow seconds. Five seconds that stretched on and on until you broke his trance by handing him the final dish.

He blinked, smiling gratefully as you carefully lifted the tub and carried it outside to empty the water onto some nearby trees. By the time you returned he was drying his hands on a towel, which he promptly threw in your direction a moment later.

You caught it and began meticulously drying your hands and forearms in the silence that followed. Had it always been like this with him? Short battles of wit followed by long silences?

"I first found out about my Crest when I was fourteen," Claude said suddenly, making you look up at him with a surprised blink. "I was sparring with my combat instructor, and I really wanted to win for once. One minute we were on even ground, and the next… He was on the floor with the splintered remains of our training weapons, and a couple cuts of mine had healed up."

"Were you surprised?"

"Well, of course I was surprised."

"No, I mean after the initial shock wore off."

He frowned thoughtfully for a moment.

"No, I guess not," He replied finally, making you exhale softly with relief. "I guess it had always been there, and it sort of explained some weird stuff that happened in my childhood."

"Thank you, Claude," You said, softly smiling. "You've put my mind at ease. As for the dishes, consider us even for when you helped me in the stables."

You strode out of the kitchen, leaving no room for any more questions. There was no way, then, that Catherine could possibly have been right about you, not when you'd never felt any sort of power hiding away within you.

She really did just confuse you for someone else.

But somehow, even with all the evidence proving what you had known your whole life, a small part of you told you that this was all wrong 

***

Claude wasn't sure what was going on in her head.

Every time he thought he was getting somewhere with (y/n), he found another wall.

He had, more than once now, wondered if whatever it was that she was hiding would be worth all the effort. Every time he considered this, considered giving up on his investigation, his curiosity had won out.

Except for last time, when she'd told him what had happened on her class's monthly mission, and he'd spent a week keeping his nose out of her business. Because no matter how charming or friendly he was, she always seemed to see right through it, right to the endless curiosity that had kept him alive all this time.

Except it wasn't curiosity, it was a deep-rooted need to know things about people. To know if they were dangerous. If they were likely to try and take advantage of him. If they thought him weak, or an easy target.

And yet, despite his best efforts, (y/n) remained an enigma. Dangerous? Absolutely.

But almost every other question he had about her was answered with only question marks.

That week he'd spent away from her had been the longest of his entire life. Not because he missed her, no he would never say that he missed the raised eyebrows and the disapproving sighs, but because she never once sought him out. She couldn't possibly be that busy, could she?

Did she merely consider him a nuisance? Someone hardly worth her time?

But then again, she'd said earlier that he'd put her mind at ease. All but admitted that she was troubled by something to do with Crests.

Did that mean she trusted him? Or was it a single moment of weakness that she’d ultimately forget about, brought on by his memory of the day he first found out about his Crest?

Claude decided to give (y/n) the benefit of the doubt.

Just this one time, he told himself, completely aware that he would very likely give her the benefit of the doubt on this many more times.

Not because he thought she was his soulmate. He wasn’t sure he would ever think that, not when finding her had been _too easy_.

No, it was because she looked so… Lonely.

Most people wouldn’t have noticed. She was always on her way to see someone, spending lots of time with Edelgard or Hubert, often both of them at the same time, or busying herself with her studies. And she put up a good front, pretending that her classmates’ distance from her was what she wanted, what she had made happen, but he saw right through that carefully maintained mask. Because he had one just like it from pretending to feel right at home in this land that was ultimately foreign to him.

He was used to that loneliness. That feeling that you didn’t belong. That you were different from everyone around you. He, at least, had friends to help him forget about it, even if just for a little while.

She and Edelgard weren’t friends.

The future emperor quite clearly _wanted_ to be, but once again the future Lady Arundel was keeping her distance. If even Edelgard was being kept at arms’ length, what chance did Claude stand?

A little part of him told him that he didn’t have one. That he should cut his losses and forget about whatever it was that she was hiding. Forget about her.

But Claude wasn’t normally one to give up so easily.

So he gave her the benefit of the doubt, choosing to assume that (y/n) was busy rather than specifically avoiding him. 

And he gave her the first of what he knew would be many, many more second chances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who's confused about Catherine knowing about the Crest, check out her supports with Lysithea.
> 
> Anywho, this took way longer than expected, but I am trying to have a small amount of longer chapters rather than a large amount of shorter ones, so I guess it was bound to happen. Normally I write on the bus on my way to and from uni, but lately it's been very busy in class and I've been pretty tired so I've spent most of my bus rides staring out the window with the document open on my phone instead of actually writing. Only two more weeks of classes to go and then I expect I might be a little less exhausted and will actually be able to marshal my thoughts into something cohesive.
> 
> In the meantime, stay safe out there everyone, and thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

The monastery was huge.

And frankly full of valuable stuff, with almost every room housing some item or another that could be valuable.

Which was what made the search for the true target during the Rite of Rebirth so ridiculously hard. It was like finding a needle in a haystack.

Except the haystack had hundreds of needles in it.

And you weren’t sure what the difference between the needle you were looking for and all the other needles was. All you knew was that there _was_ a difference.

You sighed, resting your head on your arms and finding yourself agreeing with Linhardt; an afternoon nap sounded really good right about now.

Especially when nobody in this room seemed to be able to agree on what could be the target. Every suggestion was met with reasons why it wasn't worth it, and you were starting to run out of ideas.

"Did your class offer any helpful suggestions, Claude?" Edelgard asked, making you look up from your makeshift pillows for a moment before you dropped your head back down.

And of course, Claude was here. The mission this month, keeping the monastery safe during the Rite of Rebirth, was a joint effort between all classes. So, with yourself, Byleth, Edelgard, Ferdinand and Hubert, Dimitri and Claude were also in the room.

Other students were welcome to be in the room, but none had shown up just yet. Claude had managed to sit himself in the chair you usually sat in during class, a fact that he seemed to know based on the charming grin he shot you when you entered the room earlier in the day and had to hide your surprise.

Based on the crumbs that had been there when you arrived, you could only guess that this was Caspar's desk, and that he'd flaunted the no eating rule without the professor noticing. You wanted to be impressed, Caspar had never really displayed any sort of subtlety in his daily life so stealth of this quality was quite strange, but you were mostly just disgusted by his inability to clean up after himself.

The desk was much cleaner now, but you still swore you could feel crumbs poking into your arms. Yes, a nap would be good, but maybe not _here_.

"Not really," Claude said, his voice barely hiding the yawn he must have just stifled. "Raphael suggested the kitchens, but I don't think he was the best person to ask."

"If there's a wine cellar then the kitchens are viable." You muttered, completely aware that your voice would be muffled by your arms.

It was hardly the most refined thing you had ever done, but you were well past the point of caring.

"What did you say, (y/n)?" Edelgard asked, the slightest hint of a warning lacing her tone.

"I said," You lifted your head, holding back a sigh. "That if there are wine cellars, then the kitchen is a viable option. Knowing how old this place is, it probably has something incredibly old and rare stashed away somewhere."

"You really think that they'd go through all that effort to threaten the archbishop's life over a few bottles of wine?" Ferdinand asked, drawing your gaze from your house leader to him.

These were probably the first words he'd said to you since the incident in the stables.

"No," You shook your head, tearing your gaze away from Ferdinand to look at Claude. "I'm just saying that there's a lot of valuable stuff in this place, so we need to explore every possible option."

"People go in and out of the kitchens all the time," Byleth cut in, stopping an argument before it could begin. "It's probably quite easy to sneak in and out, particularly during the more busy periods, so we can take the kitchens off the table for now."

"Teach is right," Claude said, drawing everyone's gaze to him. "We should focus on locations that are normally heavily guarded."

"You mean somewhere that might be easier to get into during the festivities of the Rite?" Dimitri asked, earning a nod from his fellow house leader. "I suppose the knights would be more distracted with all the people around."

"If we take that into consideration…" You hummed thoughtfully, considering all the places you hadn't been able to enter when you were snooping around on your first day. "That leaves the Goddess Tower, the archbishop's chambers, the holy tomb, the cathedral-"

"The holy tomb." Byleth interjected, making everyone blink in surprise.

"Are you sure?" You asked, recovering from the interruption before anyone else. "No one really knows for sure what's _in_ the holy tomb."

"What do people _think_ is in the holy tomb?" Claude asked, drawing your attention to him, and everyone else's attention to you.

"The general consensus is that it's where the saints' bodies are buried," You explained, drawing on memories of lessons you hadn't had for quite a few years now. "But after that, it's all hearsay and conflicting theories. Some say that the coffins are lined with gold, others say the saints were buried with powerful weapons, and the church hasn't specified either way. They could very well have been buried in simple coffins with nothing of value. We just don't know."

"You don't strike me as the religious type," Claude mused. "How do you know all this?"

Before you could even try to think of a reasonable response, the last person you expected to speak in your favour decided to answer the question for you.

“(y/n)’s father is a very pious man,” Ferdinand said, earning a surprised look from everyone in the room, save for Dimitri. “She grew up learning all about the church and its history.”

At the mention of your adoptive father being pious, a flicker of a frown had appeared on Dimitri’s face, as if he somehow knew something about the whole situation.

But what could he possibly know about Lord Arundel outside of what he would have heard in the Kingdom? And what did it matter to him if an Empire noble believed in the Goddess?

“If you’re about done trying to implicate my classmate,” Edelgard’s tone was low and dangerous, leaving no chance for anyone to interrupt. “Can we get back to the task at hand?”

Claude had no response for that, he just nodded slowly before he turned back to Byleth and waited for what the professor’s input might be.

For the most part, you were still looking at Ferdinand through the corner of your eye, trying to figure out why he’d spoken in your favour like that. Had he done it out of a sense of noble duty? Or had he just felt bad about leaving you to do work in the stables all alone that day and was attempting to make it up to you?

The implications of Claude’s question had been entirely lost on you the moment that your old friend had opened his mouth. You would have to ask him about it later, but you weren’t sure you’d be given the chance to.

“Even if the Saints are buried with nothing, they’re still of some potential value,” Byleth said, earning a few puzzled murmurs. “The church would likely pay anything to get their bodies back if they were stolen.”

“Some of the rumours say that the Saints weren’t truly buried in the holy tomb,” You began carefully, thinking each word through in case your musings ended up being repeated to the archbishop. “Exposing that fact could destabilise the church, and weaken its power over Fodlan. If our adversaries really were working with Lord Lonato somehow, then perhaps they have a similar goal to him.”

“If their goals were aligned, then why use him the way they did?” Dimitri asked, turning his gaze to you.

“These sorts of things always need a scapegoat,” You said flatly, making Byleth nod in understanding. “And the best scapegoat is the one whose goals align with yours, someone who has just enough power that they will never expect to be the one who takes the blame.”

“Spoken like a true strategist,” Claude’s eyes flashed with respect, and he leaned forward on his desk with a sly grin. “You sure I can’t convince you to come join the Golden Deer? We could come up with some pretty good schemes…”

“A kind offer, but I think I’m happy where I am.” You replied, letting a half-smile make its way onto your face.

“Shame,” He sat back in his chair again, the smile on his face never wavering. “Guess I’ll just have to make the most of the time we have until this is all over. So, anyone got any bright ideas on how we’re going to protect the Holy Tomb?”

"Preferably without giving it away to our enemies that we figured out their true plan." Edelgard added, making everyone exchange glances around the table.

It only stood to reason that if the thieves wanted to hit the holy tomb, then they likely knew what was inside, which meant that they had to have someone on the inside.

"But how do we hide our plans when we don't know who in the church could be on their side?" Ferdinand asked, voicing the concern that everybody had on their minds.

"We'll just have to keep it amongst ourselves for now," You said, earning a nod from your professor. "Iron out the plan a little and then tell only our most trustworthy classmates."

"Until then it will have to be business as usual," Byleth continued, standing from her seat as a signal to end the meeting. "I don't want to see anyone dropping behind. Come to me with any suggestions you might have, but don't do anything to suggest that anything is up."

You nodded, brushing down your skirt as you stood, trying to make it look as if you were about to go somewhere important when really you just planned to go back to your room and nap.

Claude caught your eye, quickly crossing the room and following you out the door.

"Heading to the library?" He asked, gently nudging you with his shoulder. "I'm heading there too, maybe we can study together."

You knew what he really wanted almost immediately.

He wanted to discuss the Rite, and what would happen during it. Or maybe even use it as an excuse to dive into the details of your life again. Two could play at that game.

"Fine," You sighed, slowing your pace to one better suited for conversation. "But I hope you don't intend to distract me, I have a test next week."

"Distract you?" Claude replied, putting a hand to his chest in mock offense. "Never."

"Right." You scoffed, almost rolling your eyes.

"(y/n)!" Seteth's voice cut through the conversation, and you stopped, turning to look at the advisor with a curious tilt to your head. "May I speak to you?"

You glanced back at Claude, his own surprise mirroring yours. When you turned your gaze back to Seteth, you smiled softly and nodded.

"Of course," You said, gesturing for him to lead the way. "Perhaps another time, Claude?"

"Yeah, we can study whenever we want," He took a step back, bowing extravagantly as he moved away from the two of you. "See you around."

You watched him go, forcing yourself not to frown. He had seemed… Off, somehow.

Upset, maybe? Disappointed?

But why would he be upset? The two of you weren't exactly friends, and you hadn't given any real indication that you were. Surely he hadn't been looking forward to his personal questions going unanswered yet again?

Finally you turned back to your next problem, who was waiting patiently for you just a few steps away. Evidently he had already started walking when he realised that you were distracted.

You caught up to Seteth, and walked beside him in a tense silence that only became more uncomfortable with every passing second without his saying anything. He had said that he wanted to speak to you, hadn't he?

"How is your father?" He finally said, shooting you a sideways glance.

"Fine." You said quickly, your practiced response coming out just a little too stiffly.

"Really?" Seteth asked, pausing in the middle of the path to study you. "That's strange, because it has come to my attention that you don't receive letters from home. How, exactly, do you know about the wellbeing of your father?"

"I-" You cut yourself off, ensuring that you wouldn’t say anything foolish. “I do not need letters to reassure me of my father’s health. Nor does he need letters to reassure him of mine.”

“Isn’t it lonely to be so wholly cut off from your family while your peers are not?” He frowned as he spoke, as if he were trying to figure something out that didn’t quite add up.

“I don’t see how my relationship with my adoptive father is any of your concern, Seteth.” You said coldly, straightening your posture and raising your chin defiantly.

“Lady Rhea has raised some concerns,” The advisor admitted, his face morphing into its usual grim look as soon as he realised that your walls had come back up. “Do you recall the time you and your father spent here at the monastery?”

You raised an eyebrow.

That was just under eleven years ago, so why bring it up now?

“Of course I do, I climbed that tree over there and got stuck,” You gestured to the tree in question, the memory of the day flooding back to you. “Alois climbed up and helped me get back down.”

“You spent a good deal more time than that one day here, (y/n),” Seteth said, his gaze softening momentarily the moment it landed on the tree. “And back then, you and Lord Arundel were practically inseparable. Now you return to the monastery after ten years and neither of you will speak to each other. I simply cannot imagine how that would happen.”

“Then you didn’t hear.” You replied flatly, crossing your arms.

“Hear what?”

“I broke off my arranged marriage with Ferdinand, and I refuse to explain to anyone why,” You explained, tilting your head slightly. “If that didn’t put a strain on our relationship, I don’t know what it was that did.”

“He named you his heir, did he not?” The advisor frowned again, clearly trying to figure out why you would be named as his heir if you had upset him so much that he would not even write to you while you were here.

That was a fair point, and in his defense, Seteth had no way of knowing what your father had truly become since he last visited the monastery.

“As a punishment,” You said softly, clearing your throat before you continued at a slightly louder volume. “My father works very closely with the prime minister, so when Ferdinand and I inherit our titles, we will also work very closely together. He wants me to spend every day of the rest of my life being reminded of what he perceives as my biggest mistake.”

“And was it your biggest mistake?”

You looked away, finally unable to keep holding his gaze for much longer.

“I have an exam to study for,” You said, turning away from him before he could press you further. “Good day, Seteth.”

He didn’t follow you, which you were intensely grateful for when you found yourself sitting at your desk in your room, watching the light slowly fade from the room as the sun began its descent.

It hadn’t been a mistake, it couldn’t have been.

It had been the right thing to do, to free Ferdinand of the burden of marrying someone who was supposed to be destined for somebody else. You didn’t really believe in soulmates, but enough people did that if you’d gone and married him and somebody had found out… He could have lost everything.

But still.

You should have just told him. Told Ferdinand that you had a soulmark, shown him, even.

Who cared if everybody knew? It was just a stupid name on your collarbone, and keeping it secret had only served to deprive you of the only person you’d ever trusted enough to call your friend.

Again, your hand moved to your soulmark, to the word ‘Khalid’ written in neat, swirly letters.

But that was just it. If anyone found out that your soulmate was Almyran, then _you_ would lose everything.

***

“Whoever our thieves are, they’re definitely taking their time.”

Claude’s gaze shifted from the doorway he was watching to where you were standing on the other side of your hiding place at the sound of your voice. He shrugged, looking back at the doorway for a few seconds before his attention once again came to you.

“So,” He murmured, keeping his voice low in case the would-be thieves finally made their appearance. “I never did get that raincheck on the studying.”

You rolled your eyes, wondering why the professor had decided to leave you with Claude of all people. You could more than handle yourself, so it wasn’t like you needed the backup.

“It’s like you said,” You replied, shuffling to the side a little bit to hide yourself further in the shadows of the alcove. “We can study whenever we want.”

“Seems more like you’ve been avoiding me.” He commented, a knowing grin settling on his face.

“ _Avoiding_?” You echoed. “I have not been-”

“Sh.” Claude raised a hand, his gaze darting to the doorway again.

“Don’t shush me!” You whispered, entirely more focused on his comment than on the mission you were supposed to be a part of. “Do you honestly believe I would do something so childish as to-”

A hand went over your mouth, effectively stopping you from continuing. Claude glanced at you warily, jerking his head in the direction that you were supposed to be paying attention to.

That was the other thing you hated about this plan: all the hiding places had you in reasonably close quarters with someone. Not that you thought Claude would do anything to jeopardize the mission, but it still wasn't that comfortable standing so close to him.

It was at this point that you considered biting his hand.

But that would be weird.

Or would it?

After all, it would be in self defense. And it would probably get him off your back for a few days, maybe even a week or two if you were lucky. Edelgard would give you a funny look and probably a stern talking-to, but it was nothing you hadn’t sat through before…

Then again, explaining to Rhea and Seteth why you’d bitten Claude would probably be worse than explaining to Seteth why you didn’t receive letters from Lord Arundel.

You huffed, looking in the indicated direction and finding a small group of shadowy figures at the doorway.

Ah.

You pointed at Claude's hand, which was still over your mouth, and waited with a raised eyebrow until he removed it. Only then did you begin to concentrate on the spell you needed to cast so that you could put the professor's plan into action.

The air in the tomb was dry and dusty, a testament to just how old it was, which was going to make it more difficult to perform your ice magic than in normal circumstances.

It was still _doable_ of course, but it would take a little bit more out of you. Any ice magic that you used in here would.

Maybe Claude being here wasn't so bad after all.

The figures were making their way down the stairs, not daring to light torches until they were a decent distance from the doors lest they give their presence away. You were relying on this fact for your plan to work.

You crouched down, focusing on the thoughts of ice creeping across the floor, on the chill in the air around you as what little moisture there was in the air moved to where you wanted it to be and froze.

Footsteps sounded on the stairs above, and you paused your work as a select few of the thieves walked right past your hiding place. They managed to avoid your ice, which was lucky for you because you heard them order the others to wait where they were. Just a few steps from your trap.

You worked more quickly this time, grateful that this kind of magic made little to no noise.  
A call sounded from one of the figures who’d gone on ahead and you had to force yourself not to swear under your breath as you stopped your spell once again and stood, readying yourself for a proper fight.

You hadn’t gotten the ice nearly as far as you’d wanted, but it was going to have to do.

The seconds slowly ticked by, with some of the figures skipping the step you’d laid your trap on, and others managing to walk past the end of the icy covering.

_Three…_

_Two…_

_One…_

The first thief slipped with a cry of alarm, quickly followed by another.

A third slipped when they tried to assist their fallen friends, which was when the torches finally lit up, and you shrank backwards into your hiding place as best you could, hoping that the professor and the others were ready to strike. It wouldn’t take long to follow the ice trail back to where you were, and you found yourself praying to the goddess that you’d bought the rest of the class enough time.

Things would turn very ugly very quickly if the thieves discovered you before your professor and the others could come swooping in to distract them. Sure, you were a talented mage and Claude was a good shot, but there was no way the two of you could hold off that many assailants in such cramped quarters for very long.

Not without one of you getting hurt.

You met Claude’s eyes, subtly nodding in answer to the question in his gaze as he slowly and quietly reached for his bow.

Footsteps drew closer, moving slowly as the owner studied the trail of ice. You closed your eyes, creating a swirling ball of ice shards in the palm of your hand as you waited for the inevitable moment this would all go wrong.

You weren’t sure what it was about the new professor, but something always seemed to go wrong when she brought the class on a mission. The class hadn’t really been on that many missions so perhaps it was a bit pessimistic, but you’d come to expect that these sorts of things would happen.

A cry of alarm sounded on the other side of the tomb and you breathed out a sigh of relief as the footsteps halted and were quickly followed by a shuffling noise. You snuck a peek out of the alcove and smiled triumphantly when you found that the rest of the thieves’ attention had gone to where a number of your peers were pouring out of their hiding places and launching their assault.

Claude nocked an arrow, letting it fly straight towards the nearest thief before he stepped out of the alcove, leading the way as more of your classmates appeared on your side of the room too. You followed close behind, letting the ice shards fly from your hand at the first enemy combatant that moved.

They hit the wall behind them in a tangle of robes, dust spraying into the air around them upon impact. And of course, it was the robes that caught your eye, that distracted you from the matter at hand.

 _Because those were Western Church robes_.

“Wait, those are-” You started, only to cut yourself off at the sound of someone shouting your name.

Claude grabbed your hand in the nick of time, yanking down to the floor with him as a fireball went overhead, right where you had been standing just a few moments ago. You looked up, wide-eyed, at where you’d almost been turned to a cinder, then back down at your saviour, who wasn’t nearly as relaxed about the situation as you’d expected.

Because you’d almost died.

“These thieves…” You said, gaze darting around the room to make sure you were relatively safe. “They’re from the Western Church!”

"That's strange," He frowned, nocking another arrow. "Why would the Western Church want to steal from the monastery? Aren't they all the same organisation?"

"I don't know," You breathed, watching him stand and fire his arrow in the general direction the fireball had come from before he ducked again. “But the archbishop isn’t going to like this.”

“There are a lot of things the archbishop isn’t going to like about this,” Claude replied, jerking his head in the direction of where a few more of your classmates were holed up before he began making his way toward them, staying low to avoid being spotted. “For example, the fact that we didn’t tell her we knew what was really going on.”

“Doubt it,” You snorted, following closely behind him. “The archbishop believes the professor can do no wrong.”

“Is that jealousy I detect in your tone?” He teased, pausing behind a coffin a short way away from your classmates as arrows flew overhead.

“Concern.”

“Concern? About what?”

“Ah… Never mind.”

Claude shot you a puzzled look, but didn’t manage to press you for more details as the professor herself sprang forward from her own hiding spot and ran for the leader of the group of western church thieves. With a muttered curse, he and the rest of your peers also broke from their hiding places, opting for offense rather than defense.

You were glad for the interruption.

It would be hard to explain that you were concerned about what would happen to all these men and women from the western church when the dust finally settled.

You knew the archbishop to be kind and gentle, but this crossed so many lines that you knew she would be beyond furious. And if what you’d learnt about the church from Edelgard was right…

Then the Western Church had just angered probably the most powerful person in Fodlan.

And you shuddered to think about what that error would cost them.

***

Felix had asked you not to tell his father where he was.

It was an odd request, but not one that you could really find yourself refusing. After all, you knew a little bit about problems involving fathers.

You almost had half a mind to see just how badly he wanted to keep his location a secret. To ask him for something impossible in exchange for lying to one Lord Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius.

Not that you’d expected to run into him, anyway.

And besides, you knew for a fact that Sylvain, Dimitri or Ingrid would end up spilling the beans at some point, so you might as well try to give Felix as much peace and quiet as possible. Why he didn’t just actually leave the monastery for the day was beyond you, but then again, most of the things Felix did were beyond you.

And yet, as if the Fraldarius heir had somehow predicted it, you found yourself walking beside Rodrigue after Seteth had been called away for something and given you the task of helping the lord find Catherine.

For the most part, the walk went by near silently, with you leading the way to the knight’s hall and hoping the knight would be there. That’s where she normally was, and you had things to do that didn’t involve the Faerghus noble.

Rodrigue shot you a sideways glance, his brow furrowing thoughtfully moments before he tore his gaze away again.

You forced yourself not to frown. That was the second or third time he’d done that, and it was starting to put you on edge. What, exactly, was going on in his mind? What was it about you that had him frowning like that?

“Is something the matter, Lord Fraldarius?” You asked carefully, unable to stand the strange silence any longer.

“Ah, my apologies, I didn’t mean to make you feel concern for me,” He replied, shaking his head before he fixed you with a warm smile. “You look very much like an old friend of mine.”

“Gilbert said much the same,” You mused, pausing just a few steps away from the knight’s hall. “I only wish he would elaborate on who it is that I resemble so much.”

“I suppose there is no harm in it,” Rodrigue chuckled, stopping beside you. “You look much like the late Queen of Faerghus when she was your age. I imagine Gilbert was reluctant to elaborate because it’s a startling coincidence for someone born in the Empire to resemble Faerghus royalty.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” You nodded, gesturing at the hall with one hand. “I imagine Catherine will be inside here, or at the very least, someone will know where she has ended up. Shall we?”

“I fear I’ve already inconvenienced you enough,” Rodrigue bowed deeply as he spoke, the smile still on his face as he regarded you. “Thank you for your assistance, I think I will be able to manage from here on out.”

“It was my pleasure, Lord Rodrigue.” You mimicked the bow, and then the smile, waiting for him to enter the hall before you allowed yourself to relax.

What had he meant by that?

He thought you looked like the late Queen of Faerghus?

That had to be nearly, if not completely, impossible, right? Of course, maybe he’d just meant that the way you carried yourself or acted reminded him of her.

But still, first Catherine thinking you had a Crest normally seen in the Kingdom, and now this? It couldn’t be a coincidence.

But it _had_ to be a coincidence. It was common knowledge, even outside of the kingdom, that Dimitri was an only child. And besides, if you had a Crest of Blaiddyd, how had you not noticed the incredible strength it was supposed to give you?

Yes.

You were clearly just on edge, noticing things that weren’t really connected in your attempts to stay one step ahead of Claude.

So all you needed to do to fix your problem was take him off the board once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy, I must have written this chapter while I was in a terrible hurry or something.  
> I was re-reading it before I posted and found spelling errors everywhere. Not to mention how I straight up changed what tense I was writing in for a solid paragraph...
> 
> Anywho! Here's the chapter, much earlier than I normally put out new chapters for this, but I've had more free time now that my year of uni is practically done and I felt inspired. Things should start heating up in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Something strange was going on at the monastery.

These days Claude assumed that something strange was _always_ going on at the monastery, but this time was different. The Black Eagles had returned from their mission in a more sombre mood than was to be expected from what everyone could only call a success.

They’d recovered the Lance of Ruin from Miklan, but everyone who had gone on that mission seemed… Subdued.

As far as he could tell, nothing had gone wrong. Nothing _bad_ had happened. But perhaps something _had_ happened.

His line of questioning had started when he caught (y/n) and Gilbert on their way to see the archbishop.

“Hey,” Claude called, catching up with the pair easily enough. “Heard you guys were back, how’d everything go?”

Gilbert nodded in acknowledgment at him, then moved a little way away from the pair and waited, making a point to not look in their direction.

“Fine." His possible soulmate replied, eyes downcast and arms crossed close to her body.

That was odd. No jabs? No comment about how the speed at which he'd tracked her down must have been a record of some sort?

She didn't even look at him.

"Hey," He reached out carefully, giving (y/n) plenty of time to pull away if she wanted. "You ok? Your entire class has been in a weird mood since you got back…"

She flinched away from him. Like, actually _flinched_.

"Sorry, Claude," She said softly, finally looking up at him with a weak smile. "I don't have time to chat right now, maybe some other time?"

He studied her for a while, trying to decipher what might have happened on that mission. He had never seen her show so much emotion, it was as if the stress of whatever had happened while she and her class were out there had rattled her so badly that she wasn't even going to pretend it hadn't.

It only made Claude's curiosity burn even more.

But (y/n) clearly needed space right now, not an endless stream of questions.

"Sure," He found himself saying, nodding and taking a step back. "You know where to find me."

She nodded, quickly catching up to Gilbert and following behind him with her head turned downwards.

The next piece of the puzzle came only an hour later, when Claude found Edelgard and Dimitri in quiet conversation on the other side of the courtyard. This was odd for two reasons: first, those two practically never spoke to each other. And second? Whatever it was that Edelgard said was making Dimitri look… Bewildered.

Now, Dimitri was nowhere near as clever as Claude, but he was still well educated. The kind of education you would only get or even need if you were set to sit on a throne someday. Whatever could bewilder him must have been pretty interesting.

Rodrigue approached the pair and talked with them for a little while before he whisked the prince away, leaving only Edelgard to ask for an explanation. This was a problem.

Edelgard didn't like to gossip. Unlike many of the students and nobles surrounding her, she considered speaking about someone without their knowledge was distasteful. It would only prove difficult to pry any sort of information out of her.

But still, he had to try. Whatever was going on, it was somehow linked to the girl who might just be his soulmate (he wasn't yet decided on this fact, but it felt strangely right to call her his soulmate). And he wanted to help her however he could.

"Hey, princess," Claude greeted as soon as he was within a suitable distance. "What's going on around here? Your class came back from retrieving the Lance of Ruin and everyone's been in a weird mood since."

"I'm afraid I'm not allowed to discuss the events of that mission.” Edelgard replied, eyeing the future Grand Duke dubiously.

“So you can fill Dimitri in, but not me?” He asked, crossing his arms with a raised eyebrow.

“That was at the archbishop’s request,” She explained, mirroring his crossed arms and raised eyebrow. “I assure you that the prince is the only member of the Blue Lions to be fully aware of what happened out there.”

“Is (y/n) OK?” Claude found himself voicing the question in his mind before he could really stop himself, earning a frown from the princess of the Empire. “I couldn’t help but notice she was… Ah… How to put this…”

“Distressed?” Edelgard supplied.

“Yeah.” He uncrossed his arms as he spoke, opting to instead shove his hands into his pockets.

“I assure you, (y/n) is fine,” She said softly, her arms uncrossing as well. “She simply experienced a sudden surge in magical strength and is having some difficulty adjusting to it. But that’s all I can tell you for now, once the Archbishop allows us to speak about it I promise you will be the first to know.”

“Thanks, Edelgard.” Claude dipped his head to the future Emperor as she stepped past him, heading back to the dormitory.

A sudden surge in magical strength?

What did that even mean?

Normally that was only a temporary effect driven by certain Crests, there was no need to ‘adjust’ to it because it only existed for as long as the Crest was active. And those kinds of Crests were not often active for long enough for it to matter.

So what had happened out there to give (y/n) a burst of magical strength like that? She was already exceedingly proficient, beaten only by Lysithea in terms of skill and raw power.

Claude decided that he should probably ask Lysithea, that girl knew nearly everything about magic, and what she didn’t know she was probably already planning to study. Afterwards, he could ask (y/n) about it himself, she would likely follow the Archbishop’s orders to keep quiet, but she could at least confirm or deny what Edelgard had told him.

He would find out what happened, he’d just have to be patient.

***

The very next morning, word spread around the monastery that (y/n), Lord Rodrigue and Prince Dimitri had departed for Fhirdiad.

***

The carriage ride on the way to Fhirdiad had been quiet, to say the least.

You had spent most of it either staring out the window or feigning sleep to avoid any conversation with Felix’s father or the crown prince. Just looking at either of them was a stark reminder of all the events of the past few days, and a terrible prediction of what your future was going to look like.

The mission to Conand Tower wasn’t entirely clear in your mind, but you remembered the most important parts.

Fighting Miklan, leaping forward and trying to wrestle the Lance of Ruin out of his grasp before ultimately pulling back when it started to consume him.

The beast that he became… Followed by the blinding shock of pain in your head that left you helpless for most of the fight. And then the sudden surge of power, the flash of a Crest as you blocked an attack you barely saw coming with your lance, even the sound of your lance snapping in two from the force.

But everything after that was a blurry haze, _apparently_ you’d let loose an incredibly powerful burst of ice magic that had ended the fight almost immediately, then promptly passed out.

At first, the notion had seemed absurd to you. But the bump on your head and the increasing difficulty with which you held back the magic that you used to have such perfect control over was certainly concerning to you.

And the Crest you had quite suddenly discovered was in your possession… It was the Major Crest of Blaiddyd.

As it had been recently explained to you, that somehow made Dimitri your younger brother. Possibly.

You were about as sold on _this_ idea as you were on the fact that you would someday meet a guy called Khalid and spend the rest of your days with him. Which was to say, you weren’t sold at all.

Yes, on one hand you did possess the exact Crest that the stolen princess of Faerghus had (Major Crests being so potent that they often manifested immediately before lying dormant for a few years), and you were about the right age.

But on the other? The consensus among, well, _everyone_ was that the baby had been weak and died. How did you keep such a secret from an entire country of people? Not to mention the spies from the surrounding countries? And how did someone just walk into the royal palace of Fhirdiad, steal a baby and walk right out without anyone noticing?

Something didn’t add up here, but you had to play nice until you could learn more and get your facts straight.

You glanced dubiously at Dimitri, then back to the window as you felt the carriage slow down and finally stop.

With a muttered order for the both of you to stay put, Rodrigue stepped out of the carriage and left you alone with your possibly-brother. You forced yourself not to look his way again, considering feigning sleep again to avoid the inevitable question that he surely wanted to ask.

Instead, he asked a question that you had not expected to hear.

“(y/n), when Lord Arundel escaped to the Kingdom ten years ago, he brought along his sister and his niece, but it has just now occurred to me that there was no mention of his daughter,” He began carefully, sounding as if he was unsure how to broach what he saw as a delicate topic. “If you don’t mind my asking, where were you while your adoptive father was here?”

“I was in the care of House Aegir.” You replied, keeping your eyes firmly fixed on the view out the window.

“House Aegir?” Dimitri echoed, though why he sounded _surprised_ was beyond you.

You still refused to look at him.

“Yes,” You sighed, resting your head on the side of the carriage. “If you recall, Ferdinand and I were supposed to marry until I called it all off a few years ago.”

“Of course,” He said, pausing for a moment before continuing. “But wasn’t it the prime minister who betrayed Lord Arundel? Why would he trust such a man with the safety of his daughter? Why not bring her to the Kingdom as well?”

“I think my very presence in this carriage answers why he wanted so badly to keep me out of Kingdom territory,” You said drily, finally sparing him an exasperated glance. “And besides, he had just attempted a coup and failed. The prime minister was the only person Lord Arundel could trust to not only take me in, but also let him leave without attempting to capture him to curry favour with the Emperor.”

The prince didn't say anything in response, and you were almost content to let the silence continue, but you could feel him looking at you. You quickly grew tired of the feeling of being watched and turned to actually look at him for the first time that day.

"It doesn't bother me," You said, making him blink in surprise. "Yes, Lord Arundel traded my hand in marriage for my safety, but House Aegir treated me like one of their own. And I got along very well with Ferdinand, it would have been an excellent match."

“But,” He paused, frowning slightly for a moment. “Were you not worried that he wouldn’t come back?”

An unbidden thought came to mind at his words: that your father _hadn’t_ come back. That the man who’d come to collect you from Aegir territory all those years ago looked like Lord Arundel, and sounded like him too, but wasn’t him anymore.

You pushed that thought away, not wanting to voice it to a boy you barely knew, no matter how possible it was that he was your biological family. It would be impossible for someone to just replace Lord Arundel like that, there was no way to so perfectly replicate his features and voice.

Besides, even if you could believe that something was wrong, Edelgard was closer to him now than you were. And you already knew that she wouldn't have a bar of it if you tried to confide in her.

"I was a child, Dimitri, of course I was worried he wouldn't come back. Back then, I thought he loved Edelgard more than me," You said bitterly, turning your gaze back out the window just in time to catch a glimpse of Rodrigue on his way back. "None of that will matter anymore if he has been keeping my true heritage from me all this time, of course. I can't believe that he would have the power or ambition required to steal a baby away from Fhirdiad, but if he knew who I really was all this time and still kept it from me… I'm not sure I could ever forgive him."

The door to the carriage opened, and you closed your eyes swiftly, once more feigning sleep to avoid a difficult conversation.

"There was a fallen tree blocking the road," Rodrigue said, settling down in his seat again. "Thankfully it was just about cleared when we arrived, so we won't have to take a detour. We'll reach Fhirdiad soon."

"I'm glad," Dimitri replied, apparently deciding not to bring up your earlier conversation. "It will be good to return to Fhirdiad, if only for a little while."

"I'm sure (y/n) will appreciate some time alone," Rodrigue mused, his clothes rustling as he shifted in his seat. "Let’s not worry about waking her until we’ve arrived, I expect the other lords will want to begin the discussion as soon as possible.”

***

The carving in the stone read ‘Lambert Egitte Blaiddyd’.

Beloved king and father, killed during a diplomatic mission in Duscur.

And a complete stranger to you.

Until now, all he had ever been to you was a name spoken occasionally when you passed by your adoptive father’s study. A foreign ruler, who you might one day meet as the prime minister’s wife. And then finally a dead man.

At least, you’d thought that was the finality of what he would be to you.

But the Court Mage, Cornelia (who was strangely familiar to you, but you couldn’t pinpoint exactly where or when you’d seen her), had changed all that for you. Not only had the instruments in her laboratory confirmed the Crest you now bore, but they had also confirmed your heritage. Your family.

At first you’d asked to return to your room, hoping to go to sleep and wake up the day before you left for that mission to bring back the Lance of Ruin. Hoping that this would all turn out to be a dream. In some way, you’d thought idly, it _had_ to be a dream. There was no way a beast like the one you’d fought in that damn tower could possibly exist.

But about halfway back to your room, a cold sense of reality had washed over you. None of this was a dream. Arundel, and goddess only knew who else, had lied to you for your entire life, and you needed to take back what little control you still had left.

So instead you asked to see your real parents’ grave, and Rodrigue had been surprised but happy to oblige you. Just a few minutes later you stood in the royal tomb, staring at a stone carved with your father’s name and wondering what it was that you expected to find here.

It certainly wouldn’t be any sort of answer to the numerous questions that were floating around in your mind.

"He never really stopped looking for you," Rodrigue said softly, his voice echoing throughout the chamber. "With no leads and an increasing unrest in the populace, we were forced to stop our search. But I frequently caught him searching the faces in the crowds, even after Dimitri was born."

"I always wondered why I wasn't allowed to go to the school of sorcery," You sighed, staring at the tombstone as if your father's ghost might jump out of it and give you some answers. "They said I wasn't talented enough, but I knew it was a lie. I guess I know the real reason now."

"They?"

Staring at the tombstone was pointless and you knew it. There was no such thing as ghosts.

"Duke Aegir, Lord Arundel… Even my magic tutors," You frowned, turning to Lord Fraldarius this time. "Makes me wonder just how many people were hiding this from me.”

“This all must be incredibly difficult for you,” He replied, sad half-smile ghosting his features. “If you ever need anything, I would be happy to oblige.”

“Thank you, Lord Fraldarius,” You nodded, glancing at the entrance to the tomb a little way behind him. “I think it’s about time I returned to my room and gathered my things. I need to speak to Lord Arundel.”

“You want to return to the Empire?”

“I need answers, and I’m not going to get them by staring at a tombstone.”

“I’m not sure that’s wise-”

“He’s hardly going to lock me up and throw away the key,” You scoffed, striding toward the doorway. “Besides, this is the best way to get proof that he either did or did not kidnap me from the palace all those years ago. He’s not likely to take offense if I’m the one who is asking.”

“I suppose…” Rodrigue said, stopping you in the doorway. “But you had better leave before the regent comes to a decision. I’ll organise a carriage for you.”

You smiled at that, watching the lord as he disappeared down the corridor in the opposite direction. So when he’d said ‘anything’ he really had meant it…

Or perhaps he had just seen the wisdom in your words, after all, you knew Lord Arundel better than anyone else occupying the palace. One thing was for certain: Rodrigue had played right into your hands.

You knew that it was the only thing you could say to get him to agree with you, to help you get to your destination without any fuss. While that information would certainly be useful in the long run, it wasn’t what you wanted to speak to Lord Arundel about.

You couldn’t care less if he had stolen you away in the night, or if he’d simply found you on the side of the road like he said he’d done. You only wanted to know if he’d been lying to you. If he _knew_.

And more than anything, you wanted to know what else he had been keeping from you.

***

Claude was on the other side of your door when you opened it, and you had to stifle an irritated sigh at the sight of him.

“If you’re here for a battle of intellect I’m going to have to ask that you come back later,” You muttered, moving to shut the door to your room before he could see the mess inside. “Between an unplanned trip to the Kingdom and then two days in the Empire under the disappointed gaze of my adoptive father I’m really too exhausted to have one of our usual conversations.”

“I’m not here for that, I promise,” He glanced around as he spoke, leaning in with a conspiratorial grin as he pulled his arm out from under his coat. “I know we’re not supposed to, but I snuck you something to eat out of the dining hall. Figured you might not want to deal with everyone staring at you just yet.”

You looked dubiously at the bowl in his hand, wondering why he would do something so kind for you when he barely knew you. Was it a bribe? A prank? Poison?

Your stomach won out, and you carefully took the bowl from his hand and stepped back, opening the door further to invite him in. Claude blinked in surprise, taking one more look around before he stepped in, shutting the door behind him.

“So,” He began, eyes darting around the room before finally landing on you. “Faerghus, huh? What’d you do to get sent all the way over there?”

“You don’t know?”

“Unfortunately my unending charm got me nowhere,” He grimaced, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Everyone kept saying the same thing, that it was between the Kingdom and the Empire.”

“So you _did_ come here for reasons other than food.” You said, putting the bowl onto your desk with a knowing smile.

You didn’t dare eat any of it just yet, not while Claude was in the room, looking at every last detail as if he were trying to put all the clues together.

It wasn't like you had all that many possessions. You had, as a child, owned a good deal of things. But you'd only taken one thing with you when you had fled for Aegir territory, and you had chosen a plush wyvern that now sat on your bed. It had been mended a few times, but otherwise it was in very good condition, considering its age.

It would doubtless make Claude think you still needed a toy to help you sleep at night, when in reality you’d left it behind on your first journey to the monastery but hadn’t been able to let yourself leave it behind again when you’d cleaned out your room just the day before. 

You glanced guiltily down at the open chest you’d shoved to the foot of your bed, at the dresses hanging over the sides, and the jewelry box sitting on top of them. The last seven years of your life were now contained within this very room, and now Claude was in here too.

For some reason, it didn’t bother you as much as you thought it should have.

“I won’t bother denying that my curiosity certainly played a part in my coming here,” His eyes finally caught sight of the toy, and a small smile played on his lips before he caught you watching him and remembered where he was. “So, you going to tell me what happened or am I going to have to give up?”

“Would you really give up on this if I told you to?” You sat down at your desk, carefully placing yourself in front of the bowl you’d placed down so he wouldn’t notice, and gestured for him to sit on your bed. “I don’t see why I should bother trying to keep this quiet. Everyone’s going to find out somehow, and probably soon.”

Claude sat on the very edge of your bed, as if trying to take up as little space as possible while he waited for you to continue.

“As you know, we went to recover a hero's relic from a group of thieves. In the process we ended up fighting against the group’s leader, who was wielding said relic,” You began, gaze dropping to your lap as you spoke. “I very stupidly rushed forward and grabbed it in an attempt to wrest it from his grasp. My attempt failed, and I felt this sharp pain in my head… Which is when we discovered this.”

You looked up, carefully holding out your hand and waiting. A few seconds passed in a tense silence until your newfound Crest flared to life just above your palm. Claude’s eyes widened as he looked first at it, then at you, then back to the Crest.

“That’s…”

“A major Crest of Blaiddyd,” You confirmed, closing your hand to snuff out the Crest and its power as suddenly as it had appeared. “The late king and queen of Faerghus had two children, that much everybody knew. The people were told that the first baby was sickly, and had died shortly after birth.”

“But that’s not what happened?”

“No,” You murmured, folding your hands in your lap. “That child was stolen from the palace, right under the guards’ notice.”

“And it was you…” Claude finished, a frown appearing on his face. “So what are you going to do now?”

You hadn’t planned that far ahead yet. You knew that you were expected to choose whether you would stay in the Black Eagles or move to the Blue Lions, but you had other plans. Everything you’d asked your adoptive father was still fresh in your mind, his answers still running rampant in your mind.

He insisted that he hadn’t known about your Crest, or your true heritage. But if that really were true, surely he wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep you out of the Kingdom. He wouldn’t have abandoned you in Aegir territory, wouldn’t have left you in potential danger while he escaped with Edelgard instead.

“I don’t know,” You said finally, straightening your shoulders and meeting Claude’s gaze. “But I don’t intend to return to the Empire any time soon. Which is why I have a favour to ask you.”

“Oh?”

“I need to transfer into the Golden Deer class.”

“You do? Why?”

“Lady Rhea has ordered an investigation into this whole incident,” You explained. “Staying in the Black Eagles or moving to the Blue Lions might be construed as my showing favour either way. I need to stay neutral while we wait for answers, and joining the Golden Deer will allow me to do that.”

“You sure I didn’t just win you over with my incredible charm?” Claude asked, grinning in amusement.

“If I say you won me over, will you help me?” You stood, putting one hand on your hip as you looked down at him.

“I’ll help you either way,” He replied, standing as well and walking towards the door. “Meet me in the dining hall tomorrow and we’ll go see professor Manuela together after breakfast. This will all be sorted in no time.”

You watched him go until he reached for the door, which was when you were struck with the sudden urge to ask him to stay. To sit and chat for a little while longer, to not leave you alone.

“Um, Claude?” You asked, immediately regretting it when he turned his head and smiled softly. “Thank you.”

You’d chickened out, and based on the puzzled frown that momentarily crossed his face, you were pretty sure he knew it too. Instead of pressing you further on it, however; he merely nodded, slipping out of the room and shutting the door almost silently behind him.

You curled your hands into fists, resisting the urge to touch the soulmark on your collarbone despite feeling the slightest tingling sensation coming from it.

What was that? Why had you wanted him to stay so badly, and so suddenly? He wasn’t your soulmate, was barely even your _friend_. So why did you feel like you could trust Claude when you couldn’t even trust the people you’d known for most of your life?

 _Khalid_ , you told yourself bitterly, wishing that you’d never had a soulmark in the first place. _My soulmate’s name is Khalid_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello happy new year!  
> Guess who got stuck on literally the last two paragraphs of the chapter for a WHOLE MONTH. Me.
> 
> Also I uh,,, I got really into Stargate over the course of the last couple months and? My brain has literally been 'no thoughts only Stargate' for most of December >.>
> 
> I'm not gonna lie, it's still 'no thoughts only Stargate' right now. But I've been able to actually think about Fire Emblem related things for longer than 5 seconds now so I finally finished this chapter off!
> 
> Anywho, happy 2021, hope you all had a good holiday season!


	6. Chapter 6

**Imperial Year 1171**  
Normally when your father returned from town, he brought back something.

A little cake, or a book to read, or even just something pretty that he thought you would like. Anything from a colourful feather to a pretty little bracelet that you would inevitably lose while playing outside.

Of course, normally when he returned from town, he came back well before sundown.

Today was not a normal day.

Not only had he not returned from town before sundown, but he didn’t return before you went to bed either. You ate dinner alone at a big empty table, and were left to your own devices for a while before your nanny arrived and got you ready for bed. You went to bed with no kiss goodnight, no hugs and no father wishing you sweet dreams.

That night you tried to stay awake until he got back, the hours ticked by slowly as you clutched the little plush wyvern you’d gotten for your birthday the year before. You waited, holding it close to you as if you thought maybe he would somehow know that you were worried and come rushing home as fast as he could. Your eyes began drooping eventually, and try as you might to stay awake for just a few more minutes, you eventually fell asleep.

And still, your father had not returned.

He did eventually return, shaking you awake in the dim dawn light before bidding one of the household maids to help you get dressed as he moved around the room shoving clothes and other items into a small bag.

You were hurried out the door as soon as your shoes were on, and you only just managed to swipe the wyvern from off your bed on your way past. Your father had glanced down at it, a strange smile on his face as he beheld it, before he placed one hand on your shoulder and led you out of the house.

Once you were in the carriage, you found yourself sitting beside another young girl, and directly across from you a woman you didn’t know. You clutched the wyvern closer to you, holding onto it with all the strength you had and hoping against hope that no one would take it from you. The girl was younger than you, her violet eyes wide as she took in the sight of you.

Vaguely you recalled her spending some time in your home, even sitting beside her during a meal. But otherwise she was a stranger to you.

Eventually, the late night and the early awakening took its toll on you, and once again you fell asleep.

When you next awoke, you were sitting on a chair in the corner of a room you didn’t recognise, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Your father was speaking to a man who had come to the house a couple times, he had been kind enough back then, but he didn’t look so nice now.

“Why not just take her with you?” The stranger asked. “You’re already taking your niece.”

“The emperor will know that I have taken the princess with me by now, and will undoubtedly be searching for a man with two young children with him,” Father explained, sparing a glance in your direction. “It will be easier to escape to the Kingdom with just my sister and my niece in tow.”

You closed your eyes, not sure what was going on, but knowing that if they knew you were now awake they might just make you leave the room.

“Hm,” The stranger mused, falling into silence for a short while before he continued. “I can keep her safe here… For a price.”

“You would have me bargain for my daughter’s safety?” Father asked incredulously, the sound of shuffling on the carpet the only indicator you had of what might be going on.

“We both know that I am the only one you can turn to here, Volkhard,” The stranger replied. “Besides, this is an arrangement that will benefit us both later down the line, and ensures that I will be able to keep her safe for as long as you need.”

“You want to make the arrangement we spoke of last year official,” Your father breathed, waiting a long time before he continued. “...Very well. Make the announcement whenever you wish, just keep my daughter safe.”

***

**Imperial Year 1180**

You opened your eyes, waking up with a sharp intake of breath.

You hadn’t thought about that night for a long time, and as you rubbed your eyes to shake away the sleep, you wondered why it was coming to mind now. 

Until somebody cleared their throat nearby.

You looked up, noticing Dimitri’s presence for the first time since you’d awoken. How long had he been there?

“Oh, Dimitri,” You murmured, straightening in your chair and removing your elbows from the table. “I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep…”

“After the week you’ve had, I’m not surprised you’re tired,” The prince chuckled, looking up from the book in his hands with a smile. “Although I can’t say I recommend the library as a good place for a nap.”

“It wasn’t terribly comfortable,” You confirmed, looking down at the open books sprawled across the table. “But I suppose magical theory wasn’t the best topic for keeping me awake… What brings you here? It’s a bit late to be browsing the library, isn’t it?”

Dimitri only looked at you for a while, frowning slightly as if he were trying to decide if he wanted to share the reason for his being here with you. Perhaps it was none of your business, but it wasn’t like him to come to the library late at night, and it certainly wasn’t like him to be browsing in the records room.

You were only here because you knew nobody else came here, so it provided the perfect environment to study without being bothered.

“I’m researching something that has been bothering me recently,” He said finally, crossing the room and taking a seat beside you as he laid the open book on the table. “I feel I must apologise in advance, as it involves Lord Arundel.”

You looked down at the pages of the book you’d been studying, idly lifting the corners of some of the pages and letting them drop back down. It was an invitation to leave him to it, to insist that the man who’d adopted you all those years ago was good and kind. And you were tempted to take it.

Instead you shut the magical theory book, shoving it to the side and looking up at your brother (a fact that you could still hardly believe) with grim determination. You couldn’t keep pretending that nothing had changed, that your father hadn’t changed.

“Tell me more.”

The prince blinked in surprise, then slid the book so that it was sitting between the two of you on the table before he began to speak.

“Lord Arundel was a very pious man while you were growing up, yes?” He asked, waiting for a nod from you before continuing. “This book keeps track of donations made to the church, as you can see, Lord Arundel made a sizable donation quite frequently. Until a few years ago, when he suddenly stopped.”

You squinted at the numbers and the names, your adoptive father’s name popped up quite frequently, often coinciding with days you had spent at the monastery as a child. But Dimitri was right, at some point his name stopped appearing.

“Hm.” You hummed, trying to remember what about the last date of the donations was so interesting to you.

“Is something the matter?”

“I’m not sure…” You muttered, tapping the last entry related to one Volkhard Arundel with your index finger. “But this date… It was shortly before he returned from Kingdom territory with Edelgard.”

“You’re right,” Dimitri replied, frowning at the logbook. “But I feel like there is more to it than that.”

“When he returned from Kingdom Territory all those years ago, he was…” You paused, reaching for some kind of explanation that wouldn’t make your brother think you were crazy. “Different.”

“Well there’s no surprise there,” He said, leaning back in his chair a little bit. “You hadn’t seen him in three years.”

“It wasn’t that it was… It started with small things, replacing one or two of the household staff every now and then. I didn’t really notice until one day I woke up and realised that none of the staff from my childhood were there anymore,” You explained, folding your hands together on the table in an effort to keep them from fiddling with anything. “And then he changed all of my tutors, just like that. My entire education shifted from one thing to another. He was out of the house more often than not, sometimes spending entire weeks at the palace, and when he was home, I never really saw him that much.”

“Not even during meals?” Dimitri’s frown deepened at this new description of Lord Arundel, apparently surprised by how wholly different it was from the man he’d met as a child.

“No, not even then,” You shook your head, a sigh escaping your lips. “Somewhere along the line he stopped calling me his daughter, and he wasn’t even that mad when I called off the arranged marriage. It was like he _wanted_ it to happen, like he manipulated me into doing it so that I could take the blame and he could walk away from it with little to no consequences.”

“Are you sure?”

“I-” You cut yourself off at the sound of voices somewhere nearby, immediately grabbing the ledger and standing.

You put a finger to your lips to indicate that your brother should keep quiet, then strode across the room and hastily put the book back in its rightful place. Moments before the owners of the voices walked through the door to the room you were in, you threw yourself back into your seat and dragged a still-open book on tactics closer to you, managing to point to a random paragraph just in time.

“Your highness?” Dedue asked, sounding surprised at the sight of Dimitri in the room.

Byleth was in tow, looking between the pair of you with her usual blank gaze. This time, however, you noted a slight change in her expression, whether it was a smile or a frown was hard to tell, though.

Dedue frowned slightly at the sight of you, as if he was still unsure of you. You could hardly blame him, of course, he was incredibly loyal to the prince and seemed to care quite a bit for his safety. But you were an unknown factor in all this mess, someone he’d ultimately not been worried about until it turned out that you too were of the royal family that he served.

He likely didn’t know how to address you, or even if he should worry about _your_ safety too. Or perhaps, he wasn’t sure if he should worry that you might try something, take steps to ensure that you could take the throne in place of your brother.

Either way, if you were him, you’d be worried about this whole situation, too.

“Oh, Dedue, Professor,” You said, looking up from your book with a tired smile. “What are you doing here at this hour?”

“We could ask you the same thing,” Byleth said, crossing her arms as she took in the scene in front of her. “It’s a bit late for studying, isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid this is my fault,” Dimitri cut in, shutting the book that was open in front of you before either of the newcomers could ask what you were looking at. “I asked (y/n) for some advice on something in this book that I’d read last week, but it took far longer than expected to find it again after so much time had passed.”

“We were just finishing up when you arrived,” You agreed, standing from your seat and tidying up the pile of books you’d left on the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to put these books away and then I’ll head for bed. Good night, everyone.”

A chorus of quiet ‘good night’s followed you out of the room, and you took in a deep breath as soon as you were out of sight. You weren’t really sure why you’d felt the need to cover up what you were investigating with Dimitri, but it had just felt like the right thing to do in the moment.

You were pretty sure that you shouldn’t have been investigating the man who had raised you, and you were completely sure that Dimitri shouldn’t have been doing it.

The prince had almost looked relieved when you’d shelved the book and created a new, albeit fake, reason for being in the library so late at night. Obviously he hadn’t wanted anyone to know what he was up to, and had only included you because he thought you could shed some light on the situation. Or maybe because he thought you would otherwise tell someone about his late-night expedition in the library and draw attention to it.

But doing that would only earn you raised eyebrows from Edelgard and Hubert, something that was already happening as each one of them tried and failed to speak to you alone over the course of the past few days. But with Flayn missing, no time could really afford to be wasted on such trivial matters, and ultimately you had an excuse to avoid them for a little while longer.

Regardless, you were going to have to talk to them sooner rather than later.

And you were going to have to decide what side you were on.

***

“This is fascinating!”

You didn’t bother looking up from the chair you’d been sitting in for the last hour, Hanneman had been going on about how ‘fascinating’ and ‘extraordinary’ your Crest was for quite some time with no sign of stopping any time soon.

You sighed, resting your head on one fist as you looked around the room once again, eyes glossing over the increasingly complex names of the books lining every bookshelf. Just how much research did this guy do? And how did he have time for it in between teaching?

You’d thought that the initial tests conducted when you first returned to the monastery after your Crest manifested were the only ones you’d have to suffer through. But you’d been unfortunate enough to have to sit through another round, this time without any excuses that might allow you to leave.

“And you still haven’t felt anything out of the ordinary?” The scholar asked. “No mysterious bouts of strength?”

It took a few seconds for you to realise that he was speaking to you, at which point you sat up, folding your hands into your lap and hoping that he hadn’t noticed your complete and utter lack of attention.

“None,” You confirmed, nodding your head once. “Although…”

“Yes?”

You didn’t like the way he was looking at you.

It was unnerving to be looked at as a research specimen rather than a person.

But he was still a Crest scholar, and if anyone could explain what was going on with you, it was him.

“I keep casting spells at more powerful levels than I intend to,” You said, looking down at your hands before looking back up and continuing. “And I’ve lost my temper a few times recently, every time it happened I found that whatever I was touching was covered with a thin layer of ice.”

“And you favour ice magic, yes?” Hanneman asked, turning to his desk and fumbling for a notebook and quill.

“Yeah,” You replied, clasping your hands together. “I’ve always had an aptitude for it.”

“Fascinating…” He murmured, hastily scribbling some notes down. “The Crest of Blaiddyd has always provided its bearer with immense physical strength. But if my hypothesis is correct, something occurred to make your Crest do something quite different and provide you with _magical strength_ instead.”

You blinked, content to let the professor continue. It was going to take a bit of effort to fully pay attention, especially considering your previous opinion that the topic of Crests was boring, but you knew that this was something you needed to hear. Especially if you were going to garner some sort of understanding about the very thing that had turned your life upside-down.

“I’ve always considered the possibility that a Crest’s effects might change or mutate under certain conditions, but I’ve never seen an example of it until now,” He looked up from his notes. “Of course, there is a possibility that these changes are not natural. After all, there are approximately six months where your whereabouts are unaccounted for, if Lord Arundel’s story can be believed.”

“So you’re saying someone manipulated my Crest?” You asked, tilting your head with a frown. “I thought that wasn’t possible.”

“It’s completely possible,” Hanneman replied, pausing his scribbling as he spoke. “But it is incredibly dangerous, and of course frowned upon by the church. No respectable scholar would perform such an experiment on anyone, least of all a baby.”

“That means there’s a good chance we’ll never find out why my Crest is doing this.” You sighed, gaze dropping to your lap.

“I’m afraid so,” He said, continuing to write whatever it is he was writing. “But we can still find out a good deal of information with some tests and experiments. Provided you are willing.”

You looked up, surprised that he wasn’t trying harder to convince you to agree to the prospect of more tests and experiments. You’d seen him getting excited over Crests, and the research he needed to do to learn more about them, and for some reason you thought that he would get caught up in that same excitement as he normally did.

Perhaps he felt bad for you, and was acting so differently because he thought he needed to tread carefully around you.

And perhaps he did.

You were dangerous, had been even before the Crest became a factor. You were what your father- what _Lord Arundel_ made you, after all. And with the magical strength that your newly discovered Crest imbued you with, there was no telling just how much more you could accomplish.

The way you saw it, there were two options:

Try to figure it all out on your own, and waste a good deal of time while potentially never discovering the full extent of what you could do.

Or accept Hanneman’s offer, and use his help and research to your own advantage.

You could practically feel your father watching over your shoulder, waiting for you to make a decision that he expected you to have already made. You knew which one he would want you to pick, which one would make you more useful to the Empire, to Edelgard.

“Let’s do it.”

***

Edelgard finally tracked you down and cornered you the day after Flayn had been rescued.

Well, cornered was probably the wrong word. Sat down across from you in an empty dining hall would be more accurate. Hubert’s silent decision not to sit down told you all you needed to know about this conversation:

You couldn’t walk away from it this time. Not until it was over.

“I hope the Golden Deer are treating you well.” The future emperor said politely, lacing her fingers together on the table in front of you.

You considered the question, studying her carefully as you thought of a way to respond.

The Golden Deer were OK, certainly a lot more laid back than the Black Eagles. But you could tell that your presence made many of them uncomfortable.

None of them were particularly unfriendly, but so far Claude was the only person game enough to sit next to you in class. That was fine, you weren’t there to make friends, just to survive until the end of the year when you’d likely renounce every noble title you had and then disappear.

You didn’t really want to return to the Empire, not when it was still unclear if they’d stolen you or not. And you definitely didn’t want to go back to the Kingdom. But you couldn’t really stay with the Church either, you knew far too much about what they were doing to want anything to do with them.

But Captain Jeralt’s arrival had sparked an idea in your mind. All you had to do was disappear, live a life far away from the church and keep your head down. It would be easy enough to change your appearance, and you’d had more than enough practice pretending to be someone other than yourself. Not that you’d ever been able to put those skills to the test.

All in good time.

“They are.” You lied, feeling a strange sort of delight in not giving Edelgard the answer she wanted to hear.

“I trust that I have no cause for worry now that you have changed houses?”

“It was a means to an end,” You said, waving your hand lazily. “I didn’t want to risk staying in the Black Eagles and upsetting the Kingdom nobles. We don’t want to start a war we aren’t ready for.”

“Clever.” The princess said, probably the first real praise you’d ever received from her.

“Besides, it’s the perfect opportunity to get what you want from Claude,” You said, finding it easier and easier to lie with each passing second. “I fed him some sob story about not knowing where to turn, and how I didn’t want to be forced to choose in case I started a war. He offered to help me switch to the Golden Deer, and now I’m exactly where I want to be.”

“Claude does seem overly fond of you,” Hubert mused, his expression a mix between respect and suspicion. “This is particularly interesting considering he hasn’t known you for very long. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to so easily form attachments.”

“Hubert’s right, for all we know, you could be playing right into _his_ hands,” Edelgard said, her voice even and betraying no signs of concern for your wellbeing. “Be careful not to fall into a trap in your pursuit of this.”

“I know what I’m doing.” You said flatly, ignoring the raised eyebrow coming from Hubert’s direction.

“I’m sure you do,” The future emperor replied, pausing just long enough to study you with a critical gaze. “Just make sure that _he_ doesn’t know what you’re doing as well, we can’t afford to make any more mistakes.”

Any _more_ mistakes?

You narrowed your eyes thoughtfully. What did she mean by ‘more’?

As far as you were aware, there hadn’t really been any mistakes. Unless-

No. She couldn’t have known, could she?

Had Edelgard, too, known about your Crest? Even planned to use it at some point during the war she was planning?

“I know how he thinks now. He won’t figure me out.” You said finally, standing up from your seat and stepping away from the table, making a bee-line for the exit of the dining hall.

You barely made it out of the hall when Monica was suddenly in front of you, backing you into a wall with a too-friendly smile that immediately put you on edge.

“Edel probably spoke to you, I’m sure,” She said, tilting her head slightly and taking another step forward until she was well within your personal space. “But I think I need to make one point absolutely clear.”

You bit back a reply, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of hearing your voice waver. This wasn’t the Monica you’d known before she disappeared, you knew that much about the situation. She was simply one of the mysterious benefactors working in the shadows to assist Edelgard in her plans, mimicking your old friend almost perfectly.

Except for the way she regarded you like she was contemplating the bloodiest ways to kill you without tipping off any of the knights stationed around the monastery.

“You’ve just discovered something big, you’ve got a whole new life and title, and now you’re confused,” She said sweetly, one finger travelling from your cheek to your chin, resting just underneath it. “So let me make this as simple as possible: If you try to betray Edel, or if you somehow grow a conscience and tell anyone about our plans…”

She trailed off, a wicked grin settling on her face as she lightly tapped your nose.

“Well, I might just have to find that Golden Deer boy you’re so fond of and slit his throat,” Monica leant in as she spoke, her voice dropping to a whisper. “And I’ll leave him somewhere only you could find him, along with enough evidence that even your new royal title won’t save you from paying the price. Understood?”

You swallowed thickly, giving the tiniest nod of agreement in response.

She stepped back, a satisfied smile on her face, and you finally found it in you to relax a little.

As soon as she walked away you let out a shaky breath, quickly finding that your hands were shaking too. Why had that scared you so much?

Was it because Monica was right? Had she figured out that you were conflicted, still trying to decide if you could continue helping the people who had kept such a big part of your life from you?

Or was it because you liked Claude more than you cared to admit, and the thought of him dying because of you made you more frightened than you would have liked?

Either way, you were trapped.

Because the only person you trusted to help you stop Edelgard’s plans was the very person that Monica had threatened, and if you lost him, you didn’t know what you would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello it has been EONS.
> 
> How are y'all holding up?  
> I've personally been playing Genshin Impact obsessively, I really wanted Ganyu so I put all my free time for like two weeks into grinding for those gems so I could summon her. And then uni started up for the year so my schedule has been shaken up a little, but I'm back now and I hope to post the next chapter in less than a month this time. (How many times have I said that now??)
> 
> tbh I almost didn't get this chapter up tonight because of a certain Twitter trend that I had to investigate only to spend about half an hour laughing at other people's tweets on the matter.
> 
> Anywho! I'm here now, I did the thing, and I'm eternally grateful to all y'all who have stuck around. Thank you for reading!!


	7. Chapter 7

The wyvern aerie wasn’t exactly what you’d imagined.

You expected it to be more like the pegasus aerie, full of straw and pegasi stomping their hooves or huffing. In fact, you’d half expected it to be worse.

Considering how much more dangerous it was to raise and train wyverns compared to pegasi, it was certainly a shock to find the wyvern aerie to be cleaner and _much_ quieter than that of their equine counterparts.

For the most part, they were sleeping in various spots in the vast open area. A few were eating, and a couple on the far side were playfighting, generating the only noise in the room.

You couldn’t see Claude, and began to wonder if Hilda had seen him going up here hours ago instead of minutes. Still, it would be a waste of a trip if he was just standing behind something, completely unaware that anyone else was nearby.

“Claude?” You called, not daring to stray any further than the doorway. “Are you up here somewhere?”

His head popped up from behind a wyvern just a short distance away, and he smiled brightly at the sight of you.

“Hey, (y/n),” He said, crossing around the dozing wyvern until he was standing in front of it. “What brings you up here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” You crossed your arms, leaning on the doorway as you looked first at Claude and then the wyvern.

“I like wyverns.” He shrugged one shoulder as he spoke, giving you the most noncommittal answer you’d ever received from him.

“Really?” You asked, tilting your head.

“What? You don’t like wyverns?” Claude raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms as well. “I find that hard to believe, considering the little wyvern sitting on your bed a couple weeks ago.”

You bit back a response about that wyvern toy, not wanting to get into your personal life with him when you still weren’t sure if he could be trusted. It wasn’t his business anyway.

“I like wyverns just fine,” You said finally, pushing yourself off the wall. “I just… Don’t think they like me.”

“Give ‘em some food or a good scratch under the chin and they’ll like you just fine,” He uncrossed his arms, moving closer to the doorway you stood in and holding his hand out for you. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

You looked down at his hand dubiously, casting a nervous glance to the wyvern standing behind him, who was now staring directly at you with something akin to curiosity flashing in its eyes.

“Come on, it’ll be fine,” Claude said, sensing your hesitance. “The Church wouldn’t make these guys so easily accessible if they were dangerous.”

“Right…” You breathed, taking his hand and letting him help you down the tiny step that brought you fully into the aerie.

A couple of wyverns lazily lifted their heads, studying you for a few moments before they put them back onto the ground, apparently uninterested. You relaxed a little at the knowledge that they really weren’t half as scary as people had made them out to be.

“So, why did you come up here?”

You looked at Claude then, frowning as you tried to think of a good lie to tell.

“I…” You sighed, deciding it would be better just to come clean. “Am avoiding Dimitri.”

“Dimitri?” He echoed, mirroring your earlier frown. “What did he do?”

“Nothing!” You said quickly, taking a tiny step back and very nearly tripping over a wyvern tail.

The grumble of annoyance made you freeze, and you slowly looked down and to the left to find the biggest wyvern you’d ever seen before. It had one eye open, looking directly at you as it swept its tail closer to its body.

Claude stepped in immediately, crouching beside it and gently running his hand over its neck. This time the grumble it emitted was softer, as if it were enjoying the attention.

“See? Nothing to be afraid of.”

“I’m not afraid of wyverns!”

“That terrified look on your face says otherwise.”

“I think I’ll take my chances with Dimitri.” You grumbled, turning on one heel and making your way towards the exit.

“No, wait, I’ll stop making fun of you,” His voice made you pause and turn back to him with a raised eyebrow. “You said you were avoiding Dimitri, right? Do you wanna… Talk about it?”

You smiled and shook your head. “Not really.”

“Alright, how about you come over here and I’ll introduce you to this guy then?” Claude smiled softly, apparently OK with letting you keep your troubles to yourself. Curious.

“You want to introduce me to… The wyvern.”

“Yeah. Come on.”

“The wyvern that was just looking at me like it would eat me if it wanted to.”

“Wyverns don’t eat people.”

“Because we taste bad?”

“Because we’re too much trouble to hunt.”

You looked back down at the wyvern, who was still looking at you, and finally decided that you’d certainly been in stranger situations than being introduced to a wyvern.

“OK,” You said, picking your way carefully across the floor until you were crouching beside the future Grand Duke. “So, what’s its name? Steve?”

“Actually, this one’s name is Sunset.” Claude explained, taking your hand again so he could guide it to the wyvern’s neck.

Its scales were cool and surprisingly smooth. Sunset rumbled softly, its eyes sliding shut as you carefully ran your hand over its scaly hide.

“Wow,” You breathed, repeating the motion in complete and utter fascination. “This is… Really cool, actually.”

“Yeah,” Claude agreed, his tone light with joy as he spoke. “People think wyverns are vicious, but they’re actually pretty easy going when it comes down to it. I guess most people who meet wyverns do it in combat though, and that’s a completely different story.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, looking up at the brunet with a tilt of your head.

“Once they get attached to you, they’ll protect you like you’re one of their own children,” He chuckled, patting Sunset a couple more times before he sat down, resting his back on a wyvern lying down behind him. “They’re pretty amazing creatures, don’t you think?”

“Mhm,” You hummed, sitting down across from Claude before you gestured at the wyvern behind him. “What’s that one’s name?”

“This one?” He asked, looking over his shoulder for a few seconds before turning back. “That’s Nebula.”

“How do you tell them apart?” You asked, looking between Sunset and Nebula with a curious frown.

“There’s plenty of ways to do it,” Claude shrugged, eyes alight with joy at the prospect of talking further on the subject. “Scale colour, talons, their horns and their faces. They even have different personalities, though I suppose that’s a trickier one to use when they’re all napping like this.”

“Hey, thanks,” You murmured, resting your head on Sunset’s back. “For not pressing me about why I came up here. And for introducing me to these two.”

“My pleasure,” Your house leader nodded, shooting you a tired but happy grin. “You know I’m here if you ever _do_ want to talk, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” You replied, a genuine smile crossing your features.

It was surprisingly peaceful, sitting with Claude of all people and just silently enjoying the remnants of the afternoon from high above the monastery. And it _had_ been pretty nice of him to just let you sit here and think, rather than asking what was bothering you.

It was all just… Strange.

Suddenly going from being an only child, and an adopted one at that, to being the crown prince’s older sister. You weren’t even sure what an older sister was supposed to do, let alone how you were supposed to act as a princess of Faerghus.

These were roles you hadn’t prepared to play, hadn’t even considered would be possible.

Besides, you’d told Dimitri about how your father had changed when he returned from the Kingdom all those years ago. There would surely be some sort of repercussions for that, and you couldn’t be sure how he was actually going to react once the information had sunk in. It had just been a moment of weakness, something you’d been having a lot of recently, and you weren’t exactly sure how to deal with it just yet.

You glanced over at Claude, who had closed his eyes and seemed to be napping alongside the wyverns in the room. It brought a tiny smile to your face, watching him be so carefree and relaxed despite everything that had been going on in the monastery recently.

You could almost forget about everything that had been troubling you here, your Crest, Edelgard’s plan, Monica’s threats… Even your soulmark.

Claude’s company was just… Comforting. Calming, even.

Of course, you couldn’t afford to get too close to him, not without telling him that you’d lied about not having a soulmark. Because he wasn’t your soulmate, and you would never be able to put him through any of the angst that came with falling for someone who was meant for someone else.

But for just one, tiny moment…

You almost wished that the name on your collarbone was his.

***

Hilda worked with you grudgingly.

The fact that she worked with you at all when you had chores to do together was a miracle, but only to the other students at the academy who were unable to say no when she passed her tasks off to them.

You, on the other hand, had no time for her ‘delicate flower’ routine. And even less patience for the fake injuries that she very quickly gave up trying to use to deceive you.

So, Hilda worked with you.

But the time spent doing chores with you was often passed in silence, with you focused on your task and her sulking because she’d been once again stuck with the one person she couldn’t deceive.

At least, that was how it had started. She sometimes chatted with you now, talking about meaningless things that you nodded along to while you worked.

As far as you could tell, the change from sulking to quiet chatter had occurred shortly after one particular chore the two of you did together, where she’d messed up and broken something. She’d apologised profusely, acting not at all like she normally did, but you’d shrugged it off and told her that those sorts of things happened.

You surmised that she probably wasn’t used to people not being disappointed in her when she messed up, not with her ‘perfect brother’ setting the bar so incredibly high.

Whatever the reason was, it was kind of nice to have another classmate to talk to, even if it was about things you didn’t particularly care for. She was nice enough, and it helped to pass the time.

“You knew Monica before she disappeared, right?” The Goneril heir asked, cutting into your thoughts with a completely unexpected question.

“I did,” You replied, shooting her a sidelong glance as you stretched up to peg another sheet to the washing line. “We’re about the same age, so we spent some time together while our fathers were discussing politics.”

“So you knew her well?” Hilda threw another sheet over the line as she spoke.

“Why are you asking about Monica?” You asked, placing the final peg onto the line and turning to her with a confused frown.

“Don’t you think she’s…” She trailed off, biting her lip as she hesitated to finish her sentence. “Acting a little strange?”

“Strange how?”

“She’s just so… Happy.”

“And that’s strange?”

“She was kidnapped and held down there for what, a year?” Hilda tilted her head, leaving the sheet partially unpegged as she turned to look at you as well. “But she’s acting like none of that happened. Not to mention how close she already is with Edelgard, they didn’t even know each other until they met last month.”

“I suppose that’s a little weird,” You mused, turning back to the basket and pulling another sheet out. “Perhaps she thinks that if she convinces us all that she’s fine, things can go back to normal faster.”

“I thought maybe you’d be jealous of Monica.” Hilda said, adding the final peg to the bit of laundry she’d been working on adding to the line.

“Jealous?” You scoffed, throwing the sheet over one of the other free lines in the area. “Why?”

“Well, she’s basically taken up the same spot you used to have before you joined us,” She shrugged one shoulder before turning and rummaging through the basket for the next easiest thing to hang on the line. “I thought maybe you’d be upset that Edelgard had replaced you so quickly.”

“Edelgard hasn’t replaced me, she can’t,” You replied, reaching into the nearby bucket of pegs and pulling a few out. “She merely understands that the position I’m in is precarious and we can’t afford to spend as much time together as we used to, lest we upset the Kingdom nobles.”

“I dunno,” Hilda grumbled, pulling what looked to be a pillowcase out of the basket. “You two never really seemed to be that close anyway, it looked more like you were just following her around because you had to, not because you wanted to.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” She turned to you, a broad smile on her face. “You seem _a lot_ happier now that you’re in the Golden Deer. Less… Tense.”

You frowned, not entirely sure what she was on about. As far as you could tell, you’d gotten _more_ tense, not less.

What with your Crest being brand new and your magic on the fritz… Even with Hanneman’s research and assistance, there were still moments where you struggled to not accidentally let out a blast of potentially dangerous magic.

Perhaps Hilda just thought you were more relaxed because you were actually speaking to people outside of your house now. Aside from the occasional chats with Dimitri and the sparring matches with Felix that were few and far between, you had basically kept to yourself for the most part. It probably made you seem uptight, or perhaps made people think that you believed anyone from outside the Empire was not worth your time.

You’d probably spoken more with everyone in the Golden Deer over the past week alone than you had in all the months you’d been at the academy previously. The same went for the Blue Lions as well, who for the most part seemed like they weren’t really sure what to do with you.

“(y/n)?” Hilda asked, snapping you out of your train of thought. “Do you think I’m worrying about Monica for nothing?”

“I’m not sure,” You murmured, shaking your head and getting back to the task at hand. “She’s been through a lot lately, I think worrying about her is perfectly fine.”

You knew that you should warn Monica, or at the very least Edelgard.

If Hilda had noticed that there was something not quite right about her, then Claude wouldn’t be that far behind, if he hadn’t already noticed.

As much as it pained you to warn the girl who’d threatened to kill someone if you spilled the Empire’s secrets… You had no idea what would happen to you, or someone else, if Claude uncovered Monica’s true identity and you hadn’t warned them that he might be close to figuring it out.

This was something for which you couldn’t feign ignorance, not when you had given them so many assurances that you knew how your house leader ticked. This was something you couldn’t possibly lie about.

For the time being, they believed you were still on your side.

And you knew exactly what would happen to you if they found out you weren’t.

***

The moment you made eye-contact with Lord Arundel, you felt a sort of shame wash over you.

It wasn’t that you were embarrassed to have rounded a corner only to find him in the monastery, talking to Edelgard, it was that you’d rounded the corner with Claude. And you’d been laughing at a dumb joke he’d told moments before you had turned the corner.

You stopped laughing, straightening your shoulders immediately and adopting your usual mask of neutrality even as you felt a stab of sadness at the immediate disappointment in the eyes of the man who’d raised you.

You’d just about forgotten what it felt like to see that look on his face.

“(y/n).” He said flatly as soon as you stopped in front of him.

“Lord Arundel.” You replied, dipping your head in his direction.

You saw Claude tensing beside you at the sound of the exchange, and you knew that he must have been wondering how the two of you could be so cold to each other. You weren’t really sure you had an answer for him, somewhere along the line he had just… Stopped caring. You supposed that maybe you had too, at least on the outside.

Arundel’s gaze moved to Claude, and his expression didn’t change, but you could practically feel the disdain rolling off him. Just what had Edelgard been saying about the Golden Deer’s leader?

“I’d like to speak with my daughter alone.” The lord said finally, making you look up in surprise.

When was the last time he’d actually called you his daughter?

Edelgard and Hubert quickly made themselves scarce, the latter with an icy glare that you were sure was trying to tell you not to mess anything up. But Claude took a bit longer to leave, his eyes flashing with indignation as he opened his mouth to say something before he finally glanced at you.

The exchange was silent and quick, with you shooting the boy an almost pleading look that quickly had him closing his mouth and nodding reluctantly. Instead of saying anything, he gave you a worried half-smile as he patted your shoulder on the way past.

“He seems quite fond of you.” Arundel said as soon as the two of you were alone.

“He is of no consequence,” You murmured, gaze dropping to the floor. “I’m doing as Edelgard asked, it has involved a little more subterfuge than I first thought.”

“Don’t get too attached,” He muttered, reaching out one hand to place it on your shoulder. “You are my daughter, and your loyalty is to the Empire. Not to the Kingdom and not to your ‘ _brother_ ’ and certainly not to that… Boy.”

You repressed a shudder at the hand on your shoulder.

Since when had your father’s touch disturbed you so?

“I have it under control,” You replied, looking up and into his eyes. “Should he ever become a threat to Lady Edelgard, I will deal with him myself.”

“Good,” He smiled then, the kind of smile that you remembered so vividly from your childhood as one he’d had whenever you showed him one of your crude drawings. “Learning the truth of your heritage must have been difficult for you, but you cannot let those Kingdom nobles sway you from your goal. Edelgard must prevail, and you must walk that path with her.”

You only nodded, forcing a light smile onto your face as soon as you spotted Dimitri and Byleth approaching. They looked to be deep in conversation, but the prince looked up and altered their course the moment he spotted you and Lord Arundel.

The hand on your shoulder withdrew, and you forced yourself to relax as the pair got within earshot.

“Lord Arundel!” Dimitri called, making the lord turn his head to see who had called his name.

“I was on my way to speak with Professor Manuela when you stopped me,” You said, stepping to your father’s side. “If you’ll excuse me.”

“(y/n), you don’t need to leave,” Your brother smiled brightly at you as he spoke. “I won’t take up much of his time.”

“Oh, no, I need to be going,” You explained, taking a step back from the group. “I shouldn’t keep my professor waiting any longer.”

You dipped your head, backing away from the group and turning on one heel to make your escape. As you walked away you considered trying to catch up to Claude, finishing that conversation about the plan for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion that had been interrupted.

But then again… The look he’d shot you just before leaving made your stomach twist, and you decided maybe it would be better if you waited a while before talking to him again. You went to your room, intending to clear your head before speaking to him again, to get yourself into a better mindset for a witty exchange that would undoubtedly require a careful choice of words.

Claude had other ideas.

He was leaning next to the doorway to your room, apparently having predicted exactly where you would want to go after speaking with Lord Arundel. With his arms crossed and a strange frown on his face, Claude almost looked like a completely different person. Like someone who didn’t belong in Fodlan at all.

“You know, I can’t quite get a read on you sometimes,” He commented as soon as you were close enough. “One minute you’re laughing at a joke and the next… You shut down.”

“I didn’t shut down” You sighed, crossing your arms.

His once-endearing curiosity was really starting to irritate you. Why did he care so much about this? What about you was drawing him to you like a moth to a flame? And what about him was drawing you?

“So why the blank expression? And the well-practiced neutral tone of voice?” He retorted, eyes flashing with something you couldn’t quite name before it disappeared.

“I was showing the due respect to Lord Arundel.”

“And then there’s that. I’ve never once heard you call him your father, not even before your Crest.”

“Fine, I was showing the due respect to _my father_. Happy now?”

“This isn’t about whether or not _I’m_ happy.”

“Then what is it about?”

Claude blinked, an incredulous look on his face as he considered your words. As if he knew something you didn’t.

You really didn’t want to deal with his questions, and the sudden drop in the corridor’s temperature proved that fact. Memories of sessions working with Hanneman came to mind, his tips to help you calm your mind and keep the magic contained becoming most prominent.

But you didn’t _want_ to keep it contained this time.

You were dangerous, and Claude needed to find that out for himself.

He stepped forward despite the cold, a concerned frown taking over his face as he gently placed one hand on your cheek and studied you.

“It’s about whether or not _you’re_ happy.” He said finally.

You blinked, unable to tear your gaze away from his as you stared at him. He was standing so close now that you were sure he could hear your heartbeat.

And then he leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss.

Your eyelids fluttered shut.

There was something in the back of your mind frantically telling you to stop but you couldn’t pull yourself away. It felt right. It felt electric.

And then you felt that tingle on your collarbone, and it hit you like a splash of ice cold water. _Your soulmate_.

You pulled away, taking two quick steps back and shaking your head to clear it of the daze that had come over you.

“We shouldn’t-” You cut yourself off, struggling to find the words to explain anything. “ _I_ shouldn’t-”

Claude looked at you first with disappointment, then confusion, then understanding and finally shame. He took a step back as well, running a hand through his hair as he gathered his thoughts.

You swallowed thickly, realising that maybe he actually cared about you. That maybe you'd been expending all this effort to stay one step ahead in a game Claude wasn't even playing. You felt like a fool.

But you could change everything.

You could come clean, tell him about your soulmark, about Edelgard, her strange allies and her plan. You could tell him that she had asked you to spy on him for her. You knew that you _should_ tell him, that it was the right thing to do.

But you couldn’t.

All you could do was stare at him, watch the shifting emotions in his eyes as he processed the situation, stuck in a trance that would only break when _he_ said or did something. Goddess knew you couldn’t even bring yourself to open your mouth.

There was only one other thing you could do. If you couldn’t tell him anything then you could at least keep him out of harm’s way, out of Monica’s sight. All you had to do was push him away, keep him at arms’ length like everybody else.

“I’m sorry,” He started, shaking his head as well. “I just-"

"Don't," You whispered, shivering in the cold air around you, and wishing you didn't have to do this. "Don't pretend you care about me, Claude. That I'm not just some passing fascination, something to observe while you wait for the school year to end."

He blinked, shock written all over his face at your outburst, and for one small second his hand touched a spot on his arm.

You stepped forward, the look on your face forcing him backwards with every step you took until you were standing in front of the door to your room. You opened it, hesitating in the doorway.

“My relationship with my family is none of your business, and I need you to stop prying into my personal life,” You muttered, your grip on the door’s handle tightening slightly. “Leave me alone, Claude. You have no idea what you’re sticking your nose into.”

You stepped through the door, not daring to look at his face as you shut it behind you and waited.

For him to sigh and mutter something to himself.

For him to leave.

You closed your eyes, letting the back of your head rest against the door.

There was a better way to do that. You knew that you should have just _explained_ , but you were too frightened by what might have happened if you had come clean.

Would he have been mad? Would he have left you to your own devices, refused to even look at you after your betrayal?

It shouldn’t have mattered to you, but it did. Claude’s opinion mattered so much more to you than you would ever admit, and he wasn’t even your soulmate.

You had to tell yourself that every day, every time he smiled at you. He was not your soulmate.

He was just a boy you’d let get too close.

And you weren’t going to let him get that close ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst? In MY fic?? It's more likely than you think!
> 
> Anywho, wow the time really did get away from me again, one minute I posted the last chapter and the next it was March? I kinda burnt myself out on... Well... Everything? I spent a lot more time staring out the window on the bus than I did writing, but when I did write it was huge chunks at a time. There were a lot of nights where I just felt really tired and I went to bed early instead of getting in that half-hour of writing I try to do before I go to bed.
> 
> Also I rewrote the end of this chapter a few times. It ended happily once but then I was like "Nah they're getting too happy gotta break that up" and I wrote it to end kind of like it did, but with less of an actual reason and then a day later I sat bolt upright in bed because I figured out the exact way I wanted it to end and here we are! 
> 
> Hope you're all doing well and staying safe in this time of quarantine and plague, and thanks again for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> haha, new fic go brrrr.
> 
> I'm real excited for this one, though I can definitely promise right now that it won't have 47 chapters. I'm aiming for maybe 20? Depends on how in-depth I get I guess.


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